At Last (The Idle Point, Maine Stories)(34)

"We can talk about anti-depressants at his next appointment," the doctor told Ruth. "His body has been through an ordeal. Heart attacks cause psychological trauma as well as physical. Simon's a strong man. Let's see how he does on his own a little longer."

Simon's depression made an odd counterpoint to Noah's obvious happiness. Her son glowed with it.

"Who is she?" Ruth had asked that morning over breakfast. "She must be very special to keep you out so late every night."

He colored slightly and looked down at his stack of hotcakes. He offered no names, no details, and a knot of something very close to fear formed in the pit of Ruth's stomach and it lingered with her, growing stronger as the day wore on.

It was with her at the hospital where she worked as a volunteer. At the beauty salon. At the post office and even at Eb's Stop & Pump.

"Why don't we go over to the club tonight?" she suggested to Simon and Noah at dinner. There were times she felt that the sound of her voice was the only thing keeping their family together. Nobody else made an effort. "They're having a jazz quartet and dancing. It would do us all good to get out together for an evening."

Simon shook his head. Noah said he had other plans.

"Go with your mother," Simon ordered. "She needs to get out."

"Could we do it another night?" Noah ignored his father and directed the question to her.

"That's fine," she said, eager to forestall more unpleasantness. "We'll check our calendars."

"What's so important that you can't spend time with your mother?" Simon persisted. He loved his son. She knew that as well as she knew her own name. Why did he feel the need to bark orders at the boy?

"Please, Simon." Ruth managed to keep her voice calm and even. "I'm not even positive the quartet will be there tonight. We'll do it another time."

Unfortunately her husband wasn't finished with the boy. "I phoned the headmaster at St. Luke's this morning," he said, reaching for his coffee cup. "After some bargaining, I managed to convince him to take Noah back so he can graduate with his class."

"I'm not going," Noah said. "I thought I'd finish out high school at I.P. High."

"Yes," said Ruth carefully. "Remember we had that discussion, dear, about how nice it would be to have Noah around for awhile before he goes off to college and out into the world." Simon's health was precarious. It was time for some fence-mending before it was too late.

"The decision has been made."

"Why didn't you ask me?" Noah demanded. "It's my life. Don't I have any rights in this?"

His father leveled him with a stern look. "No," he said. "When it comes to ruining your life, you have no rights at all. I know what's best for you."

"You know what's best for you," Noah countered, "and that's the Gazette."

"Do you know how many jobs would be lost if the Gazette went under? Think about it. Half the families in town would end up living in trailers like those Adams hippies near the river. Sometimes you have to make personal sacrifices for the greater good—."

"Bullshit!" Noah kicked back his chair and stood up. "Just because your life didn't go the way you wanted it to, doesn't mean you can use my life to make up the difference."

Simon's face went from pink to scarlet. Noah's aim had been true.

Ruth rose from her chair and stepped around to his side of the table. "He didn't mean it," she said as the front door slammed behind their son. "He's young. He'll come around. He doesn't know what he's talking about... he couldn't."

Simon looked up at her and he didn't say a word.

She'd wandered the house after dinner, too restless to settle down. Simon took a sedative and went upstairs to bed and the house seemed almost unnaturally quiet.

Finally, a little after ten o'clock, she told Simon she was going out to pick up some Advil at the convenience store on the outskirts of town and climbed behind the wheel of their Chrysler New Yorker. She drove slowly past the Gazette's offices, waving to some of the employees who were sitting outside in the warm night air. Patsy's Luncheonette was closed. Patsy's had been the favorite meeting place back when she and Simon were in high school. She still remembered the hush that had fallen over the crowd every time Mona Webb walked in the door, with her shiny dark curls and ruby lips and big wide smile.