At Last (The Idle Point, Maine Stories)(107)

In the end Simon had made a grand gesture toward reconciliation but hadn't the generosity of spirit necessary to see it through. Simon never managed to forgive Ruth for her transgression, same as he never managed to forgive Gracie for her very existence. He had loved Noah in his own way and taken great delight in showing off the child but before long the truth of Noah's paternity began to color everything. Ultimately, Noah and Gracie came to represent all that had gone wrong in Simon's own life and when they found each other, something inside him had snapped.

"Simon was a very proud man," Ruth said. "I learned early on in our marriage to keep his secrets to myself and over the years I became quite good at keeping some of my own." She looked from Noah to Gracie. "Too good, I'm afraid. I wish I could give back to you the eight years you lost but I'm afraid that's beyond my ability. The best I can do is tell you both that I love you and I pray that now that you know the truth, you'll be able to find your way back to each other. There is nothing that would make me happier." She rose from her chair and, leaning heavily on the cane, she left the room.





#





Noah and Gracie sat alone in the library for a long time, holding hands like survivors of a shipwreck. She was his anchor. He was her home. Nothing else mattered. Not the secrets or the sorrows, not even the eight years they had lost along the way.

"The first time I saw Sophie, she was sitting in a lawyer's office," he said. "I walked through the doorway and she looked up at me and I knew there was nothing I wouldn't do to keep her safe from harm." There had been no blood tests, no proof of paternity, only the deepest knowledge that this was where the fates meant him to be. "The lawyers said that we needed blood tests, that proof was required before they handed her over to me, but it didn't matter to me what the tests said. I knew she was mine." He told Gracie of the little girl's courage, the way she'd sat there and watched him with eyes that were far too old, and waited for him to determine her future. "I never want her to doubt that she's loved."

They both knew how it felt to be small and powerless, wondering why it was so hard to make their fathers love them. Sophie would grow up secure in the knowledge that she had a mother and father who loved her and who would slay dragons to keep her safe and happy. Parents whose love for each other would be the foundation upon which their family would be built.

There would be time for anger, for discovery, for healing. There would be time for forgiveness.

This moment, however, belonged to Noah and Gracie and to the future that suddenly loomed before them, golden and theirs for the taking. A future even brighter than the one they had dreamed about when they were young and newly in love.

They listened to the sounds of the old house as it settled down for the night. Soft voices from other floors. Footsteps padding down long halls. Sophie's laughter. Ruth's low murmur. Bathtubs running, doors closing, the sighing sounds of a family at rest.

"This is how I want our house to sound one day," Noah said.

Gracie leaned over and kissed him on the shoulder. "I think you need a big family to get that particular sound."

"I'm game if you are."

She pretended to consider the idea. "Nine kids might be a bit much for me."

"We could compromise at eight," he said, not cracking a smile.

"I was thinking six."

"Seven," he said, "but that's my final offer."

"Much better," she said. "Seven's a walk in the park."

"Papa! Gracie!" Sophie called down to them from the second floor landing. "You must come tuck me in!"

"Be right there, Soph!" Noah called back to her.

Gracie's heart was suddenly three sizes larger than it had been just moments ago. "I've been thinking about what your mother said about the years we lost," she said, choosing her words with great care. "You know I would give anything to get back those years but not if it meant losing Sophie."

He met her eyes. "Not too many women would say that about walking into a ready-made family."

"We have a lot of time to make up for," she said, leaning her head against his shoulder. "Why not get a head start?"

Life was about compromise. They had lost eight years but gained a miracle, a child who needed their love as much as she needed oxygen. Little did Sophie know that they needed her even more. Sophie was their chance to get it right, to love a child the way all children deserved to be loved, with constancy and respect. They both knew how it felt to be on the outside of family life, looking in, and they would see to it that Sophie never felt that way again. They would create a home that endured.