Ash Princess (Ash Princess Trilogy #1)(26)
They’ll tell the Kaiser about this, though I doubt they’ll dare get close enough to hear what we talk about. He won’t be pleased to hear that I exchanged words—no matter how innocent—with an Astrean slave. Thora’s voice sounds again in my mind, urging me to stay safe, but Blaise’s is louder. Twenty thousand.
“Do you live in this area with your parents?” I ask her as we walk.
“Yes, my lady,” Elpis says carefully. “Well, with my mother, at least, and my younger brother. My father died in the Conquering.”
The Conquering is what the Kalovaxians call the siege. It makes it sound more honorable, I suppose, to conquer something wild rather than to lay siege to something defenseless.
“I’m very sorry to hear that,” I tell her. “What does your mother do?”
“She was a botanist before, but now she’s a seamstress for the Theyn and Lady Crescentia.”
“How old is your brother?” I ask.
She hesitates. “He’ll be ten soon,” she says, a hard edge coming to her voice. “He’s my half brother.”
“Oh,” I say, glancing at her uncertainly. Even at court, there are women who have children out of wedlock, and it’s far less shameful for a widow than a maiden. If my math is correct, the siege would have just ended when her mother became pregnant. The pieces fit together and I realize what Elpis isn’t saying.
Conqueror’s Rights allowed warriors to terrorize and rob and enslave my people without fear of retribution, but I’d never thought of all that would entail. Rape. I won’t let myself think around the word or use one of the many euphemisms to try to dull it. Another injustice my people have faced. Another thing I swear will be paid for.
Elpis isn’t as practiced at hiding her anger as I am. It plays over her face like words on a page, evident in the tension in her jaw and the intense focus of her eyes. She could turn a person to stone with a gaze like that. It’s an anger I know too well.
Elpis isn’t loyal to the Kaiser, I’m sure of it. But that doesn’t mean she’ll be loyal to me. I’m not her queen, after all; I’m a spoiled, sheltered girl who is friends with the one who keeps her chained.
I have to take a moment to translate my words to Astrean in my mind before I say them. “Does he look like them?” I ask her quietly, dropping my voice to a whisper. I keep a tight hold on my smile so that it will fool my Shadows into thinking I’m babbling about something silly and inconsequential. Hopefully, after years of watching me do nothing of interest, they won’t expect anything more now.
I am poking at a bruise. Elpis flinches at my words, but I don’t back down. I need her anger; I need her to know it isn’t hers alone to bear, that I am on her side.
Her eyes narrow and she opens her mouth to answer before clamping it shut again. “Yes,” she says shortly in Kalovaxian before switching to Astrean and lowering her voice so that even I can barely hear her. “What is it you want from me, my lady?” she asks me, her voice tight.
The streets are deserted, though there are sunken eyes watching from broken windows. Children too young to work, the ill, the elderly. Hoa must live somewhere around here when she’s not with me. The thought strikes me as strange—it isn’t something I’d ever wondered about.
“What do you want?” I ask Elpis.
Her eyes dart around, searching for the Shadows, too, the ears that are always listening, the eyes that are always watching. They’re not here, though, I assure myself. Not close enough, anyway. But I don’t fully believe it. I’ve been wrong too many times before.
“Is this a trick, my lady?” she asks, switching back to Kalovaxian.
She doesn’t trust me. And why should she? She’s watched me for years with Cress. She would be a fool to trust me, and she’s lived too rough a life to be a fool.
If anything, the fact that she doesn’t trust me makes me trust her.
“No, it’s not a trick.” I look around again and see it—a telltale glimmer in the air, but a good twenty feet away, lurking in the shadow of a crumbling building. They won’t hear me, but I force a high, false laugh, keeping my smile frozen and speaking in Astrean for extra measure.
Elpis is bewildered. “Smile,” I tell her, and she instantly obeys, though there’s a touch of fear in her eyes. “They tried to break me, Elpis, and they nearly succeeded. I let my fear cow me, I let them cow me. But I’m done. I’m going to make them pay. For everything they’ve done to us, to our country. To our fathers and our mothers. Will you help me?”
I hold my breath. Elpis has grown up in this world, she has never known anything else. She could turn against me for her freedom and enough food to keep her family satiated, and I couldn’t even blame her for it. It’s a difficult world for Astreans to survive in, and I haven’t seen the worst of it. I am no more her ruler than the Kaiser is, and what does she care, really, so long as she’s safe and warm and fed?
But when her eyes meet mine, they are burning with venom. Her gaze is lethal, but not to me. Her anger only feeds mine, until we are matched, hate for hate.
“Yes, Your Majesty,” she whispers, stumbling over the Astrean words. I’m surprised she even knows them.
Your Majesty. The Kalovaxians don’t use that term, so the only person I’ve heard referred to that way was my mother. I know Elpis means well, but hearing it now makes my heart ache.