Arrogant Devil(88)

“Sure, can you put those flowers in water? There’s a vase in that cabinet over there.”

As I trim and arrange them, she tells me about Europe. She says it was the trip of a lifetime, but she and Brent are both happy to be back home.

“We walked a ton, but I still gained ten pounds. It’s all those damn croissants! I think I ate six a day. Starting tomorrow, Brent and I are going on a diet.”

“I think you look great. You have that post-travel glow. But, if you want, I have a few healthy recipes I’ve been making for Jack and Edith lately. I can write them down for you.”

After we finish talking about her trip, we’re silent for a few minutes as she puts me to work mixing up the salad ingredients. We have things to talk about. The letter is burning a hole in my purse and I know she knows about the divorce. I mentioned it the other day in a text.

“Have you heard from Andrew lately?” I ask.

“Didn’t I tell you I blocked his number?”

She says it so casually that I don’t think I hear her right.

“What?”

She glances over her shoulder. “Yeah. After Jack told me what happened when he came down to Texas, I blocked his ass.”

Wow. Um, okay.

Talk about the end of an era.

I’m so shocked, I have nothing to say, so I apologize. “I’m sorry about…well, everything.”

She sets down the spoon she was using to stir the pasta. “Please don’t apologize, okay? I didn’t want to get into this tonight, not with everyone here, but—” She breaks eye contact and glances away, taking a deep breath. “I was so wrong about…a lot actually.” I hold stock-still as she continues. “This situation has been hard for me to navigate. I’ve always wanted the best for you, and I thought that meant staying with Andrew. You have to understand, Meredith”—her voice cracks—“I thought you were happy. I really did.”

I’m around the island and pulling her into a hug before she can even finish.

“I know, I know. I’m sorry too. Had I not cut you out of my life, you would have known. You would have believed me.” I pull back and try on a big smile. It feels tight and awkward. “Let’s get coffee this week, yeah? You and me? I have a letter to give you, but I’ll wait and give it to you then. I don’t want to make you cry at your dinner party.”

She laughs and shakes her head, drying her eyes with the back of her hand. “I swore I wouldn’t cry when I saw you, but it just feels so strange to have you here in Cedar Creek. I still can’t believe you’re actually staying.”

“I really like it here.”

“I’m glad. I never imagined you and I would live this close to one another again.”

After we pull ourselves together, we go back to prepping dinner and don’t talk about anything too heavy. She tells me she’s excited to go back to work on Monday.

“I know it seems weird, but I actually missed it.”

I laugh. “Well Jack definitely missed you too. He’s been counting down the days until you get back.”

She smiles. “Honestly, I don’t know how you do it. I work mainly from home and I go out to the ranch a couple times a week for meetings, but you live there! God, you must be so sick of him by the end of the day.”

“Oh, umm…”

Yeah…Helen doesn’t know about Jack and me, mostly because we’ve only been officially dating for a month, and also because I’m scared of what she’ll say when she does find out. A part of me fears she’ll be quick to judge me.

I even tried to strategize with Jack about this dinner party last night. I was lying with him on the couch while we pretended to watch TV. Really, we were making out with one ear perked for Edith’s car. His hands were underneath my bra and mine were working on the zipper of his jeans. We’ve been like that lately—hot and heavy—and it’s driving me crazy. Jack has kept us safely tucked away in the foreplay zone. No sex, because there’s apparently no rush. He doesn’t want to take advantage of me—OF ME! Is he kidding?! I’m about to march down to the barn to find some rope so I can tie him to my bed and take advantage of him! No amount of convincing on my part will work either. He has it in his head that he needs to work us up to that point slowly, tortuously. I am insistent. I look him square in the eyes and say plainly, “Jack, I want it.” The other day, I wrote it on a sticky note and slapped it on his computer screen: SEX @ TONIGHT. I even drew two anatomically correct stick figures in case he needed a visual. It didn’t work.

Anyway, last night, I tried to talk to him about the dinner party in between kisses.

“Should we act like we aren’t dating?”

“No.”

“Okay, but Helen doesn’t know about us. Should we tone it down a little?”

As it is, our touchy-feely lovey-doveyness brings Edith to the brink of nausea at least once a day. I don’t want to make Helen feel that way too.

“You’re overthinking things.”

Men, seriously. I’m ‘overthinking things’? Doesn’t he realize this is a fragile situation? Doesn’t he realize I’m trying to mend my relationship with Helen and we need to handle this with tact or everything could blow up in our face?

That’s why when Helen says, “You must be so sick of him by the end of the day,” my answer is, “Oh, umm…”