Arrogant Devil(43)
We both took a few clearing breaths. I was half convinced we’d turned some kind of corner, but then she just had to keep going.
“Meredith, I need you to calm down and assess the situation with a level head. The easiest way forward is reconciliation. Divorces are messy and expensive and you—”
“You think I care about that? You think I’ll stay married to someone like him because I’m scared of what it will cost to leave him?”
The phone call didn’t last much longer after that. I was crying and hiccupping and feeling stupid for losing control of my emotions. I could tell my sister wasn’t sure how to handle me, not to mention I knew anything I said would be used against me if she decided to call Andrew again. In my head, I cursed her for her disloyalty before I realized she was being loyal, just to a version of me that doesn’t exist anymore.
I had just finished the phone call and was vigorously wiping tears and snot from my face when I heard Jack unloading stuff outside the shack. He caught me at the wrong time, and per usual, he took a bad situation and made it even worse.
Why waste your money? he’d asked dismissively when he saw the new decorations inside the shack.
You know what, buddy?! Maybe it’s because living in this dingy shack is making me miserable! Maybe it’s because I’ve had to pry four splinters from my foot in the last week! Maybe it’s TO SPITE YOU FOR INTENTIONALLY MAKING ME SUFFER SO I’D WANT TO LEAVE!
Obviously I didn’t shout any of those things at him. I stormed off, and now I’m out walking his property in my pajamas and sneakers. I have no idea where I’m going or how far his land extends. How close are we to Mexico? I’ve been angrily stomping my way in one direction for a few minutes and there’s still no end in sight. I didn’t have time to put on a bra or socks or deodorant, and all my blubbering on the phone and that angry getaway have really worked up a sweat.
I should definitely just turn around and head back, but I know he’ll still be there, installing that window unit. I felt so guilty when I saw it, thanks in part to my phone call with Helen. Before launching into her lecture about my marriage, she inquired about Jack.
“So, he gave you a job?” she asked.
“Yes.”
“Where are you staying?”
“On the premises.” I was hesitant to admit I’m living in the run-down shack.
“Yeah? What about rent and food?”
“It’s included.”
Her tone turned cold then. “You better not be taking advantage of him, Meredith. It sounds like he’s going out of his way to help you, a complete stranger, and if you’re just going to run right back to Andrew in a few weeks—”
“I’m not!”
She wasn’t convinced.
“This is a mess. I asked him to give you a job, not to roll out the red carpet. I’ll need to figure out some way to pay him back. Maybe I should cut our trip short. We’d still have to pay for the hotels but—”
“No, Helen, don’t do that. It’s not like I’m just mooching off him. I’ve been working hard—”
She cut me off, annoyed. “Listen, this is my livelihood, Meredith. I don’t expect you to understand, but Brent and I depend on my income a lot, especially with this trip and renovation.” I could hear the stress in her voice. “Please don’t do anything to screw up my relationship with Jack while I’m gone. Keep your head down, work, and try to make yourself as useful as possible.”
I realize now that I’ve done the exact opposite. I’ve been nothing but a hassle for Jack since my arrival. He spent his entire morning buying building supplies to fix up the shack for me, and I know I never asked him to do it, but I still feel responsible. There was a lot of stuff in the bed of his truck and I have no idea what it cost him, much less how long it will take him to do the repairs. I want to be more help than hassle, and I cringe thinking of how Helen would react if she saw him unloading supplies like that. She would be livid.
I have no clue what to do…demand he take it all back? Decline the repairs? I don’t want to be rude, but I also don’t want to use up all the goodwill Helen has built up for herself.
If I had money, I’d consider trying to find another place to live; at least then I’d only be depending on him for a job. I could leave the ranch at quitting time like the rest of the employees and be out of his hair. Unfortunately, with the paltry amount of money in my new checking account, that just isn’t an option right now, and probably won’t be for a while.
I have no choice but to march right back to the shack and stop him before he gets started. I’ll convince him I don’t need any repairs. With the rug there, I almost forget there are gaps in the floor, and plenty of people lived in Texas before the advent of air conditioning. It’s kind of nice living in a sauna, and the spiders don’t bother me in bed because enough sweat pools around me to form a moat.
I knock on the open door when I make it back, as if I’m encroaching on his space instead of mine. He’s over at the window near my bed, using a power drill to anchor the air conditioner. His baseball hat is gone and I see now what I didn’t notice before: he got a haircut. The dark strands are trimmed short, sharpening his features. He’s the grown-up man version of a boy who was already intimidating to begin with. My stomach squeezes tight as I fight back the words that are spilling into my thoughts: kissing, touching, wanting, yearning.