Anything for Her(82)

“They would have done the same for Dad and Jason, even though Mom and Dad weren’t married anymore. In fact, I don’t think they liked it when Dad said no, he was done. And then...and then Jason, too.”

“Did you ever consider staying behind with your father, too? Finishing out your senior year where you were?”

She shook her head. “No. By then, Mom was all I had. And it wasn’t as if I was happy there. I don’t even know who Laura Nelson was. And I know it wasn’t fair, but I felt as if Dad had already abandoned me.” Jason, too. That might have been even more devastating.

“So you became Allie Wright.”

“Yes. Of course, we were given an entirely new background we were supposed to memorize. I didn’t do a very good job with that. I’d already decided when I was Laura that I just wouldn’t answer when people asked questions.”

“Then I started interrogating you.”

She met his eyes for the first time in several minutes. Allie was surprised to find she was smiling, although it felt...not quite right. A distant part of her wondered what that smile looked like. “I kept getting muddled. I guess you noticed. Or I’d go blank and I could see you thinking, ‘What’s that about?’”

“Did you ever consider just telling me the truth? Or—” his tone was pained “—weren’t you serious enough about me to think I was entitled?”

A part of her wanted to protect her mother, not admit to their painful conflict and her own realization that Mom’s decisions all along had been about her. Not her husband, not her son, not her daughter.

“Mom was...scared,” she said carefully. “I told her I wanted to tell you everything. That I had to. She said I couldn’t. That we’d all committed to never looking back. She said I am Allie Wright and the past doesn’t matter.” She was very close to breaking down. “But it does. It does,” Allie finished in a whisper.

“God.” Nolan moved then, as if he couldn’t wait another minute. He scooped her out of her chair and returned to his, sitting with her on his lap, wrapped securely in his powerful arms. “Oh, damn, Allie. I wish I’d known.”

Her cheeks were wet when she pushed back enough to see his face. She had to ask. “Have I ruined everything?”





CHAPTER FOURTEEN



“RUINED EVERYTHING?” NOLAN cupped her face with one hand, wiping at the tears with his thumb. “Of course you haven’t. I’m the one who should be asking you that. I’ve been such a jackass. Demanding everything from you, not letting myself see what stress you were under.”

Her eyes shimmered, the dampness making them even more beautiful, like a pebble that came to life in the water. Droplets glittered on her dark lashes. For a long time, she searched his face as if she couldn’t understand—or believe—a word he’d said. And then she crumpled. She grabbed his shirt in both hands to anchor herself, buried her face in the crook of his neck and sobbed.

Nolan’s eyes stung, too. He’d done this to her. No, he thought on a burst of anger, not only him. The father and brother who had let her go as if she didn’t matter, the mother who by most standards had made the noble choice but who, in doing so, had unalterably damaged her daughter’s life.

He rocked Allie, his cheek pressed to the top of her head, and murmured nonsense meant to comfort. “It’s all right. Oh, sweetheart. Thank you for telling me. God, I’m sorry. So sorry, Allie. Shh. Oh, damn it, honey.”

He was sure she was going to make herself sick. But maybe, it occurred to him, she needed to surrender to all this hurt. Had she ever let herself cry like this? Somehow he doubted it.

He understood so much about Allie now. Her astonishing physical grace and poise, the seemingly unconscious care of every small movement down to the tilt of her head and any casual gesture of her hand. The creativity and absolute commitment she brought now to her quilting, learned as a young girl pursuing an entirely different passion. The shyness and caution that made her so guarded and even aloof. Her delight and surprise at moments of real intimacy.

The way she identified with Sean.

Her odd reaction when they talked about the possibility of changing the dog’s name. That must have hit painfully close to home.

The crying slowed at last. By the time the final sob shook her slender body, Nolan was probably in as much distress as she was.

He wanted to take care of her, to save her from ever feeling this kind of pain. He hated everyone who had ever hurt her. He was furious at himself. And yet, the huge bubble of emotion in his chest was something altogether different. It was gratitude, because she had opened up to him even though doing so had been enormously difficult for her.