Anything for Her(57)

“No, it isn’t my state of mind you’re worried about, is it? It’s my big mouth.”

Allie’s bitterness polluted the air. She could taste it and could tell her mother did, too.

“You know I love you.” Mom sounded helpless.

Damn it, that made Allie start crying again. She hated to cry.

“I love you, too.” Part of her wanted to fall into her mother’s arms and beg her forgiveness. The other part...well, the other part didn’t know what she wanted. “And I promise I won’t tell him anything without talking to you about it first,” she made herself say.

Allie couldn’t stand to see that lingering fear. She could only imagine her mother’s horror if she admitted that she’d already made mistakes and told both Nolan and Sean things she shouldn’t have.

Her mother nodded. “I’ll leave you alone as you wish, if you’re sure you don’t want me to help you clear the table or clean the kitchen.”

Allie was able to laugh, a little. “You know my kitchen doesn’t have room for both of us anyway.”

Mom left after kissing her hesitantly on her probably wet and splotchy cheek. Allie stood at the top and watched her descend the outside stairs carefully.

I have to get past this, she thought. If she couldn’t pull herself together and feel comfortable following the script, maybe she should quit seeing Nolan.

The thought was so bleak, she put it out of her mind immediately. She had a feeling that backing away wouldn’t accomplish anything but make her miserably unhappy anyway.

I am Humpty Dumpty and I’ve already taken the tumble. Shutting Nolan out of her life would not put her back together again. Maybe nothing would.





CHAPTER TEN



“HOW IS IT YOU’VE lived in the Northwest for this many years and never skied?” Nolan asked.

They were at his place on Sunday afternoon, sitting on the back porch steps watching Sean shoot baskets. Every time he dribbled the ball, Cassie bounded at it, barking. He was laughing, pretending she was an opponent on the court, maneuvering past her to put the ball up.

“Lots of reasons. Neither of my parents skied.” She shrugged. “It’s ridiculously expensive. Besides, I don’t like to be cold.”

“Wimp.” He nudged her gently with his shoulder. Allie bumped back.

The forecast had called for rain, so Nolan hadn’t come up with any new activity to suggest, as he’d undoubtedly have done if he’d known the promised rain would hold off. He’d suggested she come and hang out instead. He’d also suggested she invite her mom for dinner.

What he was doing was being pushy. Not that it was unreasonable of him to wonder why she hadn’t yet introduced him to her mother. It was now November and they’d been dating seriously for almost two months. She didn’t know herself why she hadn’t.

So she’d gulped, and done it. Mom was to arrive between five-thirty and six. Allie liked her mother. She didn’t understand why she was dreading the combination of Mom and Nolan.

“Do people in Chicago ski?” she asked.

Nolan laughed. “Well, not nearby. I’ve only tried the sport a few times, I have to admit. But I thought it was fun.”

“Please tell me it’s not one of those things you think Sean and I have to experience at least once in our lives.”

He laid an arm around her shoulders. “Well, sure it is. Do you really want to live your whole life without skiing or snowboarding?”

“Falling facedown in the very cold snow? Over and over? Breaking my leg?”

Nolan made a rude sound. “Not a chance. I’ve never seen anybody with better balance than you have. You’ll be a natural.” He seemed to ponder. “Why didn’t you stick to dance?”

She overcame a momentary blank. “It wasn’t possible after one of our moves.”

He removed his arm and looked at her, something alarmingly intense in his eyes. Curiosity. She recognized it. Of course he’d heard how stiff she sounded. She was a horrible liar, the absolute worst person to have been put in a position where she had to tell so many of them.

“No dance school?”

“Not...at the level I was dancing.” That was true, at least.

“That’s a shame,” he said thoughtfully.

Sean let loose with a shot from the three-point line and crowed with delight when it sank through the net. “Yeah! Did you see that?”