Angel's Rest(93)

He laughed at that, poured a shot of vodka, and threw it back like water. Then, without conscious thought, he filled a mug with milk and set it in the microwave to heat. Nic watched him and a tiny, sad smile played on her lips.

As he punched in the time, she approached him and rested her hand on his arm. “Gabe, I will never understand what it’s like for you, the complexity of your feelings, or the depth of your grief. But you are my husband and the father of my children. I care enough about you to listen with an open mind and an open heart.”

He closed his eyes. Emotion coiled within him. A part of him wanted to open up, to share how great she made him feel, to tell her that she … mattered. But a bigger part of him wanted to keep his mouth shut, sweep her up into his arms, and carry her upstairs to his bed so he could exorcise his demons in more mind-numbing sex.

“I’m asking you again, are you okay?”

“Didn’t I already answer that question?”

“You answered the superficial question. We’re sleeping together now. Surface doesn’t cut it.”

As the microwave dinged, he grabbed hold of the counter with both hands and dropped his chin to his chest. “You’re not giving this up, are you?”

“It’s too important.”

Surrendering, Gabe cleared his throat. “Here’s the thing about surface, Nic. Living on the surface, I can keep my head above water. Most times, treading is the best I can do.”

“Treading isn’t living, Gabe.”

“I know. But see, every so often, my feet find the sand. I start to think I can make it to the beach. Then, invariably and without any warning, the pain will roll in like a tsunami. It’ll flatten me, knock me right on my ass. Sometimes I can climb right up again. Other times I get caught in the undertow.”

“That’s when you need a life preserver, Gabe.”

He turned his head and looked at her. “And I find that hanging on the wall here, is that what you’re saying?”

“I can throw it to you if you want. I’ll man the line to pull you to safety. However, I need you to ask. I need to know that you want not to drown.”

“I think I’m getting a bit lost in this metaphor.” Gabe punched the button to open the microwave. He removed the mug of milk and handed it to her, saying, “Here’s the deal, Nic. You ask how I feel. Right now I feel pretty good. Hell, I feel great. I’ve missed sex. Being with you tonight was fantastic. I’d like nothing more than to have it become a regular part of my life.

“That said, I’d love to be able to say that I’ve put my guilt and ghosts behind me for good. But I can’t promise that. I’m not trying to be a jerk here. I know it’s not fair to you, and it makes me feel like a bottom-feeder to say it, but no matter how good I feel tonight, I know there’s a chance I’ll wake up in the morning feeling like I cheated on Jen.”

“Fair enough.” She nodded, and a little smile played upon her lips. “Thank you for talking to me, Gabe. That’s what I need. I’ve thought about this a lot. I’m ready to be patient and understanding and a veritable tower of strength—as long as you don’t shut me out.” She sipped her milk, then set the mug down. Holding out her hand toward him, she suggested, “Now, why don’t you take me to bed?”

The band around his chest relaxed, and the corners of his mouth tilted up. “A bed? Really? With a mattress and everything?”

“With a mattress and everything.”

He took hold of her hand. “Your room or mine?”

“Doesn’t matter.” She gave his hand a squeeze. “Pick one, and let’s make it ours.”


If not for the lingering soreness in her leg, Nic would have skipped down the street as she made her way to Sarah’s house to put the final touches on plans for Lori’s upcoming birthday party. Life was good. In the week since Pam showed up at the clinic, Gabe had spent every night in her bed and burrowed his way deeper into her heart.

Today he’d come by the house for lunch and brought her flowers.

Ali Timberlake pulled up in front of Sarah’s house as Nic turned the corner of Sixth and Aspen. Ali was in town visiting her son, Chase, who was working at the Double R, and Sarah had invited her to stop by and share the scoop on what was all the rage in the way of teenage birthday parties in Denver this year. Nic clucked her tongue at the sight of Ali’s little red BMW convertible. That was one gorgeous car.