Angel's Rest(60)

He stuck his hands in his pockets and resumed walking. “For you to understand my position, I’m going to have to talk about myself. I really hate to do that.”

“I noticed,” she commented dryly.

His mouth quirked. “I have told you a little. You do know I have baggage. What you don’t know is that it’s enough to fill a container ship.”

Nic had to bite her tongue to keep from telling him to just get over it. A whole cruise ship full of baggage didn’t change the fact that they were having a child together. Their child’s needs had to come first—baggage be hanged.

Choosing her words judiciously, she replied, “Everyone has baggage. Personally, I have a matched set. With pink pompoms tied around the handles.”

They reached the end of the high school wing, and she turned toward the small lounge area in front of the cafeteria and school offices. Nerves were making her knees a bit shaky; she might need to sit down.

He paused in front of another bulletin board, this one decorated with third-graders’ Valentine-themed artwork. “The cold air cleared my senses, and I was able to think clearly. I was able to figure out what I can offer you, Nic. And what I can’t. You’ll have to decide if it’s enough for you. Is there somewhere we could sit down?”

Just say it already, she wanted to scream. The tension was driving her nuts.

When his gaze focused on her hands and his mouth twisted, she glanced down to see that she’d mangled the flower. Lovely. “Follow me.”

She led them to the lounge, where she took a seat in an armchair. She watched him pace the lounge and waited for him to speak. It seemed to take forever, but he finally took a seat in the chair opposite her and said, “So here’s the deal. I think we should get married.”

Nic narrowed her eyes. “Have you been talking with Celeste?”

“Um, no,” he warily replied. “Not since you dropped your bombshell. Why?”

“It doesn’t matter. Never mind.” Now Nic was the one who stood up and paced.

“Explain something to me. If you’re not willing to be a father, what good does it do for you to become a husband?”

“Because it’s the right thing to do. I’m the baby’s father whether or not I ever become his daddy. I have a responsibility to him. He’s an innocent in all of this—the only innocent, really. We have some time, Nic. Seven and a half months of pregnancy, then another chunk of months before I could cause him any real damage by bowing out.”

But what about me? she wanted to ask. Big girls had tender hearts, too.

“Look, I’m a bad bet,” he continued. “Don’t have any doubt about it. My head is pretty messed up. However, it’s not nearly as messed up as it was when I came to Colorado. Right now the idea of a baby makes me break out in a cold sweat, but maybe it won’t always be that way. I’d like time to try to figure that out.”

“We don’t have to be married for that. If you’re worried about my reputation, well, don’t. We’re not going to fool anyone. Eternity Springs’ residents might not be the most sophisticated people around, but they do know how to count to nine.”

Gabe leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. “I’ve done a lot of lousy things in my life, but I’ve always taken responsibility for my actions. Marrying is the right thing to do, the responsible thing to do.”

Responsibility. Great. He made marriage sound as pleasurable as a toothache.

Doubt assailed her. Marrying him could be a huge mistake, not because of the baby—he had a point about having time—but because she was susceptible to him. She could love this man. Shoot, she was halfway in love with him already.

Celeste’s words echoed through her mind. He has a good and loving heart, but it’s been damaged. It’s still healing. And you know what the best medicine for a wounded heart is, don’t you?

Love.

Nic returned to her chair and sank into the seat. “If we did this, what sort of arrangement are you proposing with this proposal?”

“What do you mean?”

“Would this be a marriage in name only or the real deal? Would we live together? Share our meals?” She paused, licked her lips, then added, “Share a bed?”

He went very still for a moment, then shook his head. “I won’t use you, Nic. I did that at Christmas and it was wrong. Honestly, my head is kinda screwed up where sex is concerned. I was a faithful husband and … well, I guess you could say I haven’t adjusted to my change in circumstance. If you have a spare bedroom, that would probably be best. At least for now.”