Anarchy (Hive Trilogy, #2)(54)
No, no, no. “Tessa!” I was seriously pissed. It was as if she’d lost her mind, like literally pulverized the thing when she decided to jump into bed with Blake. “You can’t get engaged. You’re twenty-one years old and this guy nearly killed you changing you into a vampire freak-show.”
Tessa’s face hardened. “Why are you being such a bitch, Charlie? Seriously, you’re just jealous! Your guy took forever to even kiss you and you’re jealous that Blake isn’t afraid of commitment.”
I totally wanted to club her over the head and hide her in a suitcase under my bed until we could get the hell out of here, but she could, and probably would, kick my ass.
I had to change tactics, because my bitching crazily at her was not working.
“Okay … this is coming out wrong, Tess.” I leaned in closer and murmured my next few words. “My life is in danger and I can’t really give specifics, but I need to tell you something.”
Her face had softened a little. Taking this as an encouragement I leaned right up close to her ear.
“I’m leaving the Hive, and if you want to keep our family together, like you always proclaimed when you talked of being turned, you’re going to have to come with me.” I sucked in a deep breath. “If I don’t leave soon, I’m dead.”
As I pulled back, her face showed genuine concern. “Charlie what’s going on? Blake knows people. He can help you.”
I gritted my teeth. “No one can help me. You don’t understand everything and...” I pointed my finger to the ceiling and swung it around in a circle. Tessa’s eyes rose and she followed my gaze around the room. I wasn’t sure she fully understood what I was trying to tell her about us being spied on, but she didn’t push me further. She gave a sigh and looked at her new shiny ring.
There were a few tense moments. I wanted to reach out and shake an answer out of her. What was she even thinking about here? Finally she lifted those silver eyes and gave me a sad look.
“I’m going to stay here. Blake will take care of me.”
My heart split in two and tears filled my eyes. I had officially been replaced. She would rather be with Blake instead of going with me.
I gave it one last shot. “Think about it for another minute. Not only do I want us to be together, I can’t leave you here knowing they might use you to get to me,”
Tessa shook her head. “Charlie, I’m not going anywhere and neither are you. We’ll figure this out. I love it here. I feel like I finally belong.”
My chest began to shake with emotion. “I love you,” I managed to say, before turning into a puddle of tears. Somehow I made it out of the door and into the hallway.
“Charlie!” Tessa yelled, but I ran, bursting out of the feeding center front door. Oliver and Kyle fell in behind me as I sprinted past. Once I made it back to my apartment, I slammed my bedroom door hard, threw myself on the bed and shoved my face into a pillow.
I screamed for as long as I could into my pillow, only stopping when my head shook and I had no breath left. Everything was out of control and I hated it. Helplessness was one of the worst emotions. Powerlessness too. Because I knew that it was bad to leave Tessa here, but she controlled her own life and choices, no matter how terrible they were.
Folding my body tighter around the pillow, I cursed soundly into it, even digging up a few of my favorites from the enforcers. And yet I didn’t feel any better. For the millionth time I cursed the Hive. Seriously … f*ck this place. My entire life had been turned upside down because I was born different. But it shouldn’t be this way, I was still human—well, some of me was.
I understood the vampire virus scared the humans, especially with so many dying from it, but ash weren’t contagious. It was bullshit that we were subjected to this lifestyle. It was also bullshit that vampires abused their place of power and treated us like second-class citizens. I looked down at my shaking hands. Running through these veins was a cure, a way to end all of this.
I rolled over on the bed and fought to control my breathing, focusing on the plain white ceiling. Life was weird. You grew up as a kid with big dreams. Like wanting to be a famous actress or an NBA star, then in high school you scaled those dreams down as you ended up waiting tables with some acting on the side, or hopes to play college ball.
By the time you were in college you decided to just pick a safe major and end up in accounting or marketing. Why did that happen? Why were dreams slowly whittled away until there was nothing much left but the mundane existence of get up, go to work, come home and then die. That was life.
Well, f*ck that. No longer was I content to be an accountant. Life purpose had fallen into my lap, and I could feel the rightness of my convictions. I was going to take this entire system and shake it up. By the time I was done with the world of vampires and Hives, I hoped nothing would remain as it was now. Ash should be free and vampires shouldn’t even exist.
The realization that I could change things, that I was meant to, lifted a huge weight I had been carrying since I found out I was an ash, cleared away some of the agony I faced regarding Tessa and the little girl who was changed, and all the children who had suffered. One day there would be no more suffering, no more families torn asunder.
There was a soft knock at my door. I sat up, clearing my throat and wiping my face. “Come in,” I said, my voice steady.
It was Kyle and Lucas. Lucas had wide eyes and a clenched jaw. Something was wrong. Of course it was. That was pretty much the story of our lives.