An Unlocked Mind (Secrets #2)(98)

“Next time, no condom. I want nothing between us.”

Rob’s quiet sigh of contentment was the only answer Vic required.




IT WAS Friday night, and all Rob wanted was to curl up on the couch with Vic. The previous weeks had been grueling, and he hadn’t done much beyond coming home dog-tired, showering, eating, and then collapsing on the couch until bedtime. Vic had seemed a little preoccupied too, but Rob got the impression that this was more the fault of his job rather than anything Rob had done.

So he really didn’t get it when Vic announced they were going to Secrets.

“Why are we doing this?” he asked again. “I’m tired, and I just want to rest.”

Vic huffed. “You’ve been doing enough resting, I think. Besides, Wayne is bringing Ellis and I want to see them. It’s the first time out since their collaring, and I’m anxious to find out how he’s doing.”

Rob knew the two men had been police officers, and that both of them had worked within the Specialist Firearms Officers unit. He and Vic had watched in horror back in April when a video on the news had shown Ellis being shot while rescuing a young girl. A shooter had targeted the school and Ellis had shielded her with his body. Vic had been shaken, because he and Ellis’s partner, Wayne, were friends. They’d attended the party when Wayne had given Ellis his collar, but Rob had been in the corner for some infraction he could barely remember.

Wow. Me in the corner. Imagine that. Not that he was complaining. He had to admit, Vic knew what he was doing. The punishment gave Rob time to reflect, and now that he no longer panicked about being put out, he didn’t mind it so much. That wasn’t to say he liked it, but he was coping better each time it happened.

The two weeks since Rob’s declaration and DIY collaring had felt like a honeymoon, as wave upon wave of happiness had carried him along, and Vic had been right there with him. Every moment they’d shared together had been stored in Rob’s memory. Of course, some memories got played over and over again in his head, and there were an awful lot of those.

Which brought him back to this evening. He really didn’t feel like going back to the club, not when they could be at home under the sheets. Still, Vic wanted to go, and Rob hated to disappoint him.

“Then you go.”

Vic grabbed Rob’s wrist and pulled him off the sofa. “We are going. I don’t want to hear anything else about it. Get your jacket and let’s go.”

It wouldn’t do any good to argue, Rob knew. He wouldn’t win. He slipped his coat on and followed Vic out to the car. They’d been driving for about five minutes, Rob silently contemplating the passing suburban scenery, when Vic cleared his throat.

“I’m not blind, you know. Something’s been bothering you this past month, and don’t deny it. The last two weeks might have taken the edge off it, but it’s still there, eating away at you.”

Rob turned his head and stared at him. “How the hell do you do that? Is that a Dom thing, reading my mind? Aren’t I allowed to have secrets?”

“Not if I think they’re hurting you or holding you back. So I’ll start. This is about Alex, isn’t it?”

Shit. Vic really did see everything.

Rob sighed. “Every time I think about him, about how he’s known all along that I wasn’t guilty, it… gnaws away at me. I have so many questions. Would things have been different if I’d approached him? Would Alex have forgiven me?” There was no way of knowing and Rob knew that, but that didn’t mean he could get it out of his mind.

Vic said nothing for a moment, and Rob wondered if he was pissed at him for not sharing.

“Let me say something to you, and I want you to really think about this. We’re going to see Wayne and Ellis, right? Well, Wayne could have lost Ellis. As it is, Ellis may never walk again without the aid of a cane. He was willing to give everything in order to save a stranger.”

“Okay, but what does this have to do with my situation?” Rob was at a loss.

“What it all boils down to is this: you have in you the power to bring healing to your family. I’m not suggesting for a minute that you could make things all better between your parents, but you could certainly improve things between you and Alex. All you need to do is reach out to him.”

“Talk… to Alex?” Rob’s stomach roiled.

“Knowing how much of the hurt falls on your shoulders, you should be the one to make the first move here. You know I’m right.”

It was on the tip of Rob’s tongue to fling back at him, Aren’t you always? But he knew there was truth in Vic’s words. Hadn’t Rob been saying the very same things to himself for what seemed like ages? It wasn’t that he didn’t want to talk to Alex. He knew it had to be done, but fuck, he was afraid. What if Alex slammed the door in his face? What if he refused to even hear Rob’s apology? Could Rob blame him?

“I don’t know how to go about it,” Rob confessed. “I’m not sure I deserve his forgiveness. What did I do that earns me a second chance?”

Rob was startled when Vic reached over and gripped his knee. “You won’t ever know the truth if you’re not willing to risk the hurt.”

Could it be that easy? Just call Alex and talk? No, Rob knew this was something that had to be done face to face. Alex had to be able to see the sincerity, or otherwise everything he said would be just words.