An Unlocked Mind (Secrets #2)(78)

Rob could see the sheen of tears in Jarod’s eyes. Rob wanted to comfort him, but what the hell could he say?

“The day after Phillip… died, I woke up, started breakfast, began my morning chores, and then I simply… stopped. It dawned on me that no one would be eating with me, no one would comment on how clean the kitchen was, no one would be my world again. I collapsed on the floor and cried, the grief so raw, it tore me up inside. The days went on, the mornings always the worst for me, because every day I had to remind myself it wasn’t a dream. He really was dead and I was alone.” Jarod took a sip of his tea.

Rob’s heart ached for him, for what he’d been through. “I’m sorry.”

“Thank you. My mother was my rock. She kept pushing me to go out and meet people. I resisted, until the loneliness got to be so overwhelming, I couldn’t stand it. That’s when I met Eli. He brought me out of my shell and gave me a purpose in life. I can’t ever thank him enough for what he did.”

For the life of him, Rob couldn’t see the connection between his story and the one Jarod had just told him.

But Jarod wasn’t done. “Those days when I was alone, I wondered if I had told Phillip enough how much I loved him. What he meant to me. I remembered all the arguments over stupid things, but it took me years to remember how many more good things there were than bad.” He gazed steadily at Rob across the table. “Which brings me to you. Alex is angry and hurt, I know, but if you don’t talk to him, tell him the truth about what happened, that hurt and anger will always be there. It eats him up, knowing—or thinking—you did something to hurt him and Leo. If you can’t do it for yourself, then do it for Alex. You obviously care for him, so why not prove it and help him to let that pain go? Not just for him, but for both of you.”

Jarod’s words were like a body blow. Rob had thought of his own hurt and regret, but he hadn’t really considered it from Alex’s side. God, I was such a selfish bastard.

Maybe now was the time to put things to right.

“I’ll think about it,” he promised. He meant it. He’d need to consider very carefully what the hell he was going to say.

“That’s all I ask. I won’t tell him we spoke, by the way. That’s not my place. Just, please, don’t hurt each other anymore.”

Rob’s phone rang. He had to smile when he saw the name on the display. “I think Vic’s worried.”

“Then let’s get back downstairs and put his mind to rest.” Jarod picked up the cups and rinsed them out. Then he escorted Rob to the lift and pushed the button.

“Thank you,” Rob said as they waited for it.

“For what?”

“Listening, I guess. You know my brother, and I figure if you could hear my side and understand, then maybe there’s a chance he will too.”

Jarod touched Rob’s arm lightly. “At least give him the chance. Both of you need closure.” He paused. “You have to let go of the past in order to have a shot at building a future. Of course, it’s up to you if you want a relationship with your brother.”

Memories of Alex filled Rob’s mind. When they were kids, Alex was shy. Rob used to tease him when he’d go out with friends while Alex stayed home. Rob would come back from some party and he’d immediately have to tell Alex all about it. Rob knew he wanted to make Alex jealous.

Isn’t it funny? Now I’m the one who’s jealous of him.

“I want him to forgive me. Even if he doesn’t want to see me, I need it to be able to move on with my life.”

The lift opened and as they were about to step inside, Jarod put a hand on Rob’s shoulder. “Then maybe you should think about forgiving yourself first.”

Rob wished it could be that simple. He followed Jarod into the lift, then leaned against the wall. He knew that forgiveness had to come from those he wronged before he had a chance in hell of finding it for himself.

When the door opened, Rob saw Vic engaged in conversation with Eli. As he and Jarod walked over to them, Vic’s eyes focused on Rob. The annoyance was still there, and Rob swallowed hard. Looks like I have some heavy-duty apologizing to do.

“Thank you for the advice, Jarod,” Rob said, as they crossed the floor. “I think I’m about to be in deep shit with Vic.”

“That’s my fault. I could talk to him if you like.”

“Thanks, but no. Years ago I would have pushed you into accepting responsibility. I knew the rules when we got here, and regardless of the reason, I’m the one who broke them.”

They’d taken a few more steps when Rob felt Jarod’s hand on his arm. “For what it’s worth? I think Alex would be very glad to meet the man you’ve become.”

There was no way Jarod could understand how much those words meant to Rob. “Thank you.” He swallowed hard, his chest tight.

“Anytime.”

As he reached Vic’s side, Rob breathed a sigh of relief when Vic patted him on the arm before he turned back to Eli.

“Looking forward to seeing what you’re going to do with your online presence. You guys did a great job on the club. I can’t wait to come back and see it again.”

Eli extended his hand. “We’ll be looking for you. Enjoy the room.” Eli escorted Jarod away. He put his hand on the small of Jarod’s back and pushed him to the door.