Allied (Ruined #3)(11)

The pages were blank after that. His father must have given up the hobby at that point.

Cas grabbed all the sketchbooks, five in total, and tucked them under his arm. He didn’t have the strength to search through all of them right now, but maybe he’d find some one day.

He went to his mother’s room next. The scent of her perfume still lingered in the air, and the smell brought such powerful memories with it that he had to stop in the doorway for a moment. He closed his eyes and took in a few shaky breaths.

When the urge to crumple to the floor had passed, he stepped inside. His mother’s room was more cluttered—bottles and creams spread across several surfaces, four different books open and scattered across the room, and various pieces of clothing tossed on chairs.

He knew what he wanted of his mother’s, and he found it in one of the dresser drawers. It was her warrior pin, something she’d kept despite her obvious disdain for her home country. He also took a necklace and a ring he knew had been gifts from her parents when she was young. He tucked them into his pocket and quickly walked out of the room.

Relief flooded his veins as he headed for the door leading out of the royal suite. He’d been avoiding that for so long, and now he wished he’d done it earlier, just to get it over with.

He stepped out of the suite and into the castle hallway to find Galo waiting with the guards. Cas looked at him in surprise, some of the tension leaving his chest at the sight of his friend.

“You’re back,” Cas said.

“Just now.” Galo’s eyes skipped to the sketchbooks in Cas’s arm. He murmured to the other guards that they could leave.

“Are you going to stop having them follow me around everywhere? It’s really not necessary in the castle,” Cas said as they walked away.

“I’ll ask them to back off now that we’re settled.” Galo glanced at the doorway behind Cas. “Is everything all right?”

“They’re cleaning it out tomorrow.” He gestured to the notebooks. “Just picking up a few things.”

Galo squinted at him, because Cas hadn’t really answered the question.

“How was the trip home?” Cas asked, turning and walking in the direction of his rooms.

“Fine. Odd. I need to talk to you, when you have a chance.” He said the last sentence in a rush, like he needed to get it out quickly.

“I have a chance now,” Cas said.

Cas led them to his sitting room, and dropped the sketchbooks on a table. He’d find another spot for them soon. Preferably somewhere he didn’t have to look at them.

He sank into a chair and gestured for Galo to sit across from him.

“I’d like to resign as captain of the guard,” Galo blurted out.

Silence followed that statement. Cas could hear the clock ticking behind him. “What?”

Galo clasped his hands together, his face more nervous than Cas had ever seen. “I’d like to resign as captain. And I’d like to leave the guard entirely, if you’ll allow it.”

“Why?” Panic flared in Cas’s chest. Both of his parents were dead, his cousin had fled—she was probably plotting to kill him right this moment—and the girl he loved could only send messages to him through random maids she rescued. Galo was one of the only people he had left.

“I’m not qualified to be your captain,” Galo said. “You only gave me the position because we’re friends. There were dozens of other guards who would have been more qualified.”

“Not anymore,” Cas pointed out. A good number of guards were killed when Olso invaded the Lera castle. Many more were killed at the battle of Fort Victorra. They were in the process of recruiting more men and women to train.

“There are still plenty who are more qualified,” Galo said. “I’d be happy to give you suggestions.”

“Don’t you think that knowing me well makes you the most qualified?” Cas asked.

“No. I think it’s a hindrance, actually.”

“How so?”

“I’m concerned with what you want. I let you sneak out of the castle—”

“That was a different time,” Cas said. A safer time.

“Still, our friendship is not helpful to your safety. Obviously. You’ve recently been stabbed, poisoned, and taken an arrow in the shoulder.”

“You weren’t there for the arrow,” Cas said.

“Because I lost you.”

“I don’t think we can reasonably blame you for Olso invading Lera.”

“I was there for the stabbing and the poison.” Galo raised his eyebrows meaningfully.

Cas let out a dramatic sigh and slumped back in his chair. “You’re one person. You can’t take all the blame.”

“I’m not a good captain, Cas. I’m inexperienced. You need the best right now. It’s the perfect time to change leadership, when we’re putting the castle back together.”

A little voice nagged at Cas, whispering that it was true. He had given the position to his friend. It was only weeks ago when they rode through the jungle and Cas offered him the job, but it felt like a lifetime. He was rebuilding his guard, and perhaps a change wasn’t the worst idea.

“But you want to leave the guard entirely?” Cas asked.

“It doesn’t feel like the right place for me.” Galo clasped and unclasped his hands. “Honestly, I’ve never really liked being a guard. I joined because I didn’t have many other options, and then I stayed because of you.”