All the Ugly and Wonderful Things(11)

“Do you need anything, Mrs. Quinn? You okay?”

“Who are you?” she said.

“Jesse Joe Kellen. Uh, I work for Liam.”

“Fucking *.”

“I’m gonna go. I’m sorry I bothered you.”

I beat it back down the hallway, hoping real hard the whole deal wouldn’t get back to Liam. Had my hand on the doorknob, on my way out, when the mess in the kitchen pulled me up short again. Was the little girl living there in that filth?

*

It was the end of October before I went by the house again. Every time my arm twinged, whenever I did any work on my bike, I thought about the way the girl laid her hand on my cheek and said my name. I spent years trying to get people to stop calling me Junior, but damned if that wasn’t the first time I really felt like Kellen was my name.

After I got the bike back in running order, the first place I took it was the road up to Liam’s house. The gas tank still being primer gray made me old-lady cautious, easy on the throttle going up the drive to the house. The kitchen door was unlocked again, and when I swung it open, the girl was there. She stood next to the table, her hair combed smooth, no leaves in it. There was a baby, too, clutching at her dress, and just like that I recollected the reason I’d been sent to the house the night I wrecked. A bag of groceries. Ricki had gone to the store, but she couldn’t take the food up to the house, what with her being Liam’s girlfriend and his wife probably not liking that. So Butch said, “Run it up there, Kellen, before the milk spoils.”

Now that I could see the girl was real, I didn’t know what to say. Maybe that was all I needed. She stood there, holding the little boy by his overall straps and not saying a word.

“Hey, Wavy,” I said. I thought that was her name and the way she looked at me, like she was surprised I remembered; it musta been.

She straightened up and let go of the baby. “I didn’t kill you?”

“Not even close. I’m as good as new. Wasn’t your fault anyway.” I said it real quick, not wanting her to feel bad, but she frowned. “Only I wasn’t expecting to see you out there. When I hit that gravel and the front tire skidded, I over-corrected. Spilled the bike like an idiot. Not your fault. Anyway, I just wanted to say thanks for helping me.”

That was what I wanted for as long as she was looking at me, but when she looked past me, what I wanted more than anything was for her to look at me again. Most people look at you like nothing, but the way she looked at me … it was like we were in the meadow again. Like I was important. People don’t usually look at me like that.

“Is that Donal? He your brother?”

She cocked her head and frowned. Out from the road, I heard this familiar rumble I couldn’t place. I’d been just looking at her face. Her hair and her eyes. Then I looked at all of her. She was wearing a coat, with a backpack over her shoulders.

“You going somewhere?” I said.

“School.”

As soon as she said it, I felt like a dope. That was the bus she’d been listening for and it was gone now.

“I can give you a ride, okay? Since I made you miss the bus.”

She looked at me real serious and nodded.

You wouldn’t think someone as small as her could pick up a baby that size, but Wavy heaved him up on her hip. She was stronger than she looked.

The baby set to wailing when she carried him away, and he was still going at it from somewhere in the house when she came back to the kitchen. I waited for her to say something, but she walked right out the door. I was making her late to school.

I hadn’t thought at all about how her riding on the bike was gonna work, but I went at it the only way I could see. I put my hands around her waist and hoisted her up to the seat. Her back went all stiff and her eyes got wide, so I could tell I’d messed up. I let go of her like a hot potato, and she settled herself on the back of the bike.

“Hold on tight, okay?” I said, after I fired up the engine. She didn’t answer and she didn’t touch me. I felt like a clod, like I’d missed something important. “You ever rode on a bike before?”

I looked at her in the side view mirror. She frowned and shook her head. Figure that. Liam’s kid and she’d never been on a motorcycle. Most guys as crazy for bikes as him, they take their kids riding.

“We’re gonna go pretty fast, so you need to hold onto me. I don’t want you to fall off,” I said.

Wasn’t like she could put her arms all the way around me, but she got a grip on one side of my jacket, and held onto my belt with her other hand. Out on the highway, her skirt fluttered around us, so I reached back and tucked it between us. Doing it, my hand brushed against her knee on accident, and she pulled back from me. Her being so light made me nervous. Like having nothing on the back of the bike. I tapped the front brake to slide her closer to me, just to reassure myself she was there. Soon as I did, her hand loosened up where she was holding my jacket. For those couple seconds she wasn’t touching me, my heart stopped.

“Hold on tight. Don’t let go!” I yelled. She got a grip back on my belt and my jacket.

At the stoplight into town, we caught up to the bus and followed it to the school. I pulled the bike up on the front sidewalk and, as soon as I came to a stop, Wavy slid off the back. For a second, she teetered back and forth, trying to get her skirt untangled. I was worried she was about to tip over, but as I went to grab her, she rested her hand on my thigh to steady herself. Then she pushed off and ran up the sidewalk ahead of the kids coming off the bus. They all stared at me on my bike in the middle of the sidewalk.