All the Stars and Teeth(56)
The tension in my chest snaps. I step in front of Ferrick and shove him away from Bastian.
“Enough,” I say. My words are fierce, but controlled. “I’ve had enough. Think whatever you want of me, Ferrick. You’re angry because you think I owe you something, but I don’t. I’ve had too many people controlling my life to add someone new to the picture.”
I don’t stop when his spine straightens and his chin dips, brows furrowing into a glare. Instead, I push forward. “When our parents arranged for us to be married, it wasn’t by my choice. You’re possessive! You act like you own me, yet we’re only connected by politics and magic. And don’t forget that I outrank you, so don’t you dare talk to me like I’m some foolish child. Believe me, I know Visidia deserves the best, and I’m trying my hardest to be that for them.” I jab my hand into his chest again, and Ferrick stumbles back.
“I’ll never love you.” The words are harsh, but he needs to hear them. “Not like that. Not in the way you want. Stop acting like this is something that will change, or that I owe you a chance. I owe you nothing.”
I don’t need words to understand what’s in Ferrick’s eyes. Anger, hurt, betrayal. It’s all there.
“Do you really think I want to spend the rest of my life with someone I know will never love me?” he asks quietly. “I never asked for this; I deserve happiness as much as you do. But this is what’s happening, and unlike you, I’m at least trying to make the most of it.”
The fluttering of the sails all but stops, betraying me with its silence.
I force myself to look away and try to fend off the guilt that sinks its teeth into me, devouring my pride.
Ferrick brushes past me, heading straight into the cabins.
I storm the opposite direction with a hiss of curses beneath my breath, clenching the starboard ledge. Bastian follows, quietly watching as I try to steady my anger.
No matter how hard I try to push away Ferrick’s words, they sink into my gut. Maybe you’re not what the kingdom needs. But what does he know, anyway? Once we get to Zudoh, I’ll stop Kaven and find a way to introduce Zudoh back into the kingdom, and enlist all the islands to help Kerost. Our economy will thrive. More ships will be produced with Zudian wood. More homes. Trade between them and their closest neighboring island will boost Kerost’s economy significantly.
I was led here on this journey for a reason, and Ferrick’s words won’t stop me from believing that.
But even so, knowing what I must do, I can’t help but think of the stories whispered at night about Zudoh, or the way we were hushed for even saying the island’s name.
“How long has it been since you were in Zudoh, Bastian?” I ask, my voice tightening.
“I’ve been living on Keel Haul since I was ten.” He clips his words short and bounces on antsy feet.
“And you’ve never thought to go back before?”
His eyes are on the sea, knuckles white as he grips the edge of Keel Haul. Though there’s a slight breeze, the ship moves slowly in the still water, probably as hesitant to move forward with this mission as the rest of us. After a long moment of silence, he pushes away from the ledge and walks past us, stopping only when he’s at the stairs that lead down to his quarters.
“It’s been a long day, and we’re all tired,” he murmurs, voice hardly louder than the wind. I want to argue, but the look on his face stops me. I recognize the pain he wears; it’s enough to dry my throat into silence. “Try to have a good night.” Bastian descends the steps and leaves Vataea and me on deck. When I make no motion to follow, Vataea turns to me, head tilted.
“You said you sensed a curse when you stepped aboard this ship,” I whisper. “What exactly were you referring to?”
“I sensed three, actually, if you want to count the one in your boot.” She smiles, teeth pearly white. I only notice how sharp they are when they catch the glow of the moon. “But they’re nothing to worry about right now.” She takes my hand and gently draws me toward the cabins. “Now show me where I’m to sleep, will you?”
She doesn’t seem to notice how numb my body is or how quick my breaths come.
Bastian’s magic’s somehow been cursed away; that one’s a given. Then there’s the cursed necklace I’ve stuffed into my boot.
But as I stumble into the cabins behind Vataea, I can’t help but wonder—what’s the third curse?
CHAPTER NINETEEN
My head hits the pillow, but every time I shut my eyes, I can’t help thinking that Keel Haul is too still.
She pushes forward with the same anxiousness that eats at my nerves. And if she’s afraid of our destination, then perhaps I should be, too. There may be people looking for me on every island, but Zudoh has been banished from Visidia for eleven years, left to wither and rot in its own time. No one will ever think to look there for a lost princess. If something happens to me, my people will never know my fate.
But I have to wonder, did Father truly keep me from these other islands because he worried for my safety? Did he keep me on Arida so I’d have more time to learn how to control my magic, and keep myself out of the very mess I’m now in? Or is it possible that there’s more to it?
What could Father be hiding?
I’m tired of scraping for answers. Anxiety crawls at my skin, and the cabin is suddenly small and suffocating. Gods, I need air.