All the Beautiful Lies(37)

“But I trust you,” Gina was saying. “And that’s why I can’t lose you, Al. I can’t lose you, and I don’t care what you’re doing with your mom’s husband. That’s not my business and I should never have brought it up. I mean, do what you want, right?”

“We’re not doing anything.”

“Hey, I get it, Al. He’s hot. I’d do it with him.”

For a brief moment Gina’s words provoked in Alice an urge to pick up the nearest rock and drive it into Gina’s face. Instead, she said, “Let’s go swimming.”

Gina swiveled her head toward the black expanse of the ocean, almost as though she was just realizing that it was there. “Really?” she said.

“Sure, why not?”

“It’ll be freezing.”

“It won’t be. You’re just scared. It’ll be amazing.”

Gina stared toward the water for a moment, then said, “Sure. Okay.” She smiled, leaning in toward Alice. Her breath had an almost chemical smell to it, like rubbing alcohol. She stood. “Let’s go swimming. It can be symbolic, like our fresh start.” She pushed her jeans down her long legs, almost slipping on the rocks, then pulled her shirt and sweater over her head. Alice, still wearing just the pajama bottoms and the T-shirt, pulled them off, feeling awkward and exposed, but wanting to get into the water. Gina’s eyes quickly scanned Alice’s naked body, and Alice resisted the urge to cover her breasts, which suddenly seemed awkward and fleshy next to Gina’s flat chest and small, dark nipples.

“I can’t believe we’re doing this,” Gina said. “It’s going to be freezing.” She pulled the bandage off her hand and tossed it on the sand.

“The water’s probably warmer than the air right now,” Alice said, stepping from the rocks onto the hard-packed wet sand. As soon as she was ankle high in the water, she realized the water temperature was probably exactly the same temperature as the air. It felt like stepping into nothing. She waded out, as Gina flew past her, spinning her arms and screaming, crashing into the surf. “Chicken,” she yelled back at Alice.

Alice kept wading forward. Everything was dark except for the foam of the breaking surf. A large wave was rolling toward her and Alice dove under it, swam underwater, then came up next to Gina. “This feels fucking amazing,” Gina said, tilting her head back so that her hair was in the water.

Alice found herself annoyed to share the sentiment. She’d never swum naked before and the grasp of the ocean water on her skin made her feel incredibly alive. “Let’s see how far we can swim out,” she said.

“Maybe we’ll get eaten by sharks,” Gina said, then laughed drunkenly, swallowing some water then coughing it out.

Alice took a deep breath, filling her lungs, her feet planted on the dense, sandy bottom. The moon emerged from behind a cloud and shone silver on the water. “No, it will be great. Trust me.” Alice began to swim, Gina beside her. She went slow, not wanting Gina to fall behind. The water turned colder and calmer the farther out they went. She could hear Gina starting to breathe hard, snorting out water as she turned her head every other stroke. “You okay?” Alice asked.

“Yeah. A little tired.” Gina spun onto her back, her breath sounding ragged.

“If we go a little farther there’s a sandbar.”

“Yeah, let’s keep going,” Gina said, spinning and beginning to swim again, her arms slapping the water. Alice remembered what Gina had been like at cross-country practices, always willing to slow down if Alice was behind, but always making sure that she would be first to finish. Alice swam by her side. She was beginning to breathe heavily, too, but her arms felt strong, slicing through the water, propelling her. She felt like she could swim forever. She sped a little ahead of Gina, steadily moving away from shore, the water now much colder.

“Stop, hold up,” Gina yelled, her voice hoarse, and Alice stopped, spun, and swam back toward her. The lights along the shore seemed far away and insignificant. “I think I’m cramping,” Gina said, and there was some panic in her voice.

“Just rest for a moment,” Alice said.

“Have you felt the sandbar yet?”

“I haven’t, but I remember it, unless it’s moved.” Doggy-paddling, Alice could feel the water tugging at her legs. She’d wondered if they’d hit a rip current, and it felt as though they had. There really had been a sandbar out this far from Kennewick Beach, but that had changed after the storm-filled winter the year after they graduated.

“I shouldn’t have come out this far,” Gina said, her chin submerged in the water, the words sputtering.

“No worries. We’ll rest a bit, then turn back.”

“Okay.”

Alice, staying afloat just by scissoring her legs, said, “I am having sex with him, you know. With that fucking creep.” The moon was back behind a cloud, and it was dark again.

Gina took a breath, then said, “I don’t care,” the words sounding like exhalations.

“You do care, Gina. You want me to stop.”

“I don’t, really. Alice, I think I need help.”

“Okay,” Alice said. She was starting to tire now, too, and began to swim in a crawl, her arms struggling to get out of the water, so she switched to the breaststroke. There was a definite pull in the water, a current tugging her away from the shore. Panic coursed through her, squeezing her chest, but she took a breath, and told herself to swim parallel to the shore for a while, till she was out of the current.