All About Seduction(9)
“God knows it should have. We all thought it did. If I had any idea Papa was spending so beyond the estate income, I would have curtailed my expenditures years ago. But I am obligated to make payments on all the loans to family and others. Papa . . .” Robert’s shoulders slumped. “Papa all but ruined us. In the end only family would loan him money.”
Resigned, but not surprised, she asked, “Mr. Broadhurst is still paying?”
“Yes, of course. It was part of the settlement. The second settlement.” Robert’s brow furled. “I don’t know if Papa recorded why there are two settlements, and I haven’t made it through all the paperwork yet. I should have read it all, but I thought you were in agreement with this plan.”
“No, I never agreed to such an abomination.”
Robert pensively studied her. “We . . . Papa never thought your husband would live so long. No one thought you should be stuck in North Country for more than a half-dozen years. We all expected you would be a wealthy young widow, and that would make up for any comparison you might suffer if you were brought out with any of our sisters.”
Caroline cast about for a place to look. The trampled brown grass at her feet offered no comfort. Her brother’s assessment of her lack of attributes in comparison to her accomplished sisters stung. Even though she’d never been thrust in the fishbowl of the marriage mart where her plainness and inability to carry a tune would matter, the thought that no man would want her when one of her sisters was available still cut like a knife.
Long before leaving the schoolroom, she’d heard her parents’ worried conversations about how she would fare in London. She was too bookish, too plain, too retiring, while her older sisters Sarah and Amelia were beautiful, accomplished in the arts, and vivacious. Their youngest siblings had taken after Sarah and Amelia, not her. With five daughters to see settled, their parents expected her to be a huge burden. Instead she’d been the first to marry.
It was silly. She didn’t want another husband and had never found the endless rounds of festivities in London enjoyable. The throngs of people overwhelmed her. And marriage was something she wanted no part of ever again. When Mr. Broadhurst passed, freedom would come . . .
“Broadhurst married you for our bloodline.”
Caroline swiveled on her brother. “Then let Sarah or Amy or one of the twins produce another baby. I’ll stuff a pillow under my dress. Let one of them throw herself on the Broadhurst money altar. Why am I the only lamb put out for slaughter?” Caroline winced. She didn’t really think of herself as the sacrificial lamb. She preferred a quiet life. Mr. Broadhurst had given her that. Until her husband’s demand, she would have considered herself content to wait until she was a woman of independent means.
The blood drained from Robert’s face. “That’s not fair. We’ve all done things, Caro. I promised my vote on bills I cannot like to gain alliances with at least three of the men I invited. And I have done my best to further your husband’s interests. I’ve secured contracts to supply cloth for the military. Sarah, Amelia, beyond declaring the best fabrics come only from Broadhurst mills, have always insisted he be accepted in polite company when you’ve come to town. Fortunately, you have not availed yourselves of our hospitality so much. You do not know how our reputation suffers. He makes everyone so uncomfortable.”
Fighting for calm, Caroline closed her eyes. They had done nothing compared to what she’d done. They hadn’t had to lie with an old man pawing them and poking them. They hadn’t had to go through years of not feeling welcome outside her home. But she drew the line at this base manipulation.
She took in a couple of slow breaths. With the letter pouring out her personal heartbreak, Robert had likely been acting under the assumption that she wanted a child badly enough to have an affair. She could hardly fault him for providing what he thought she wanted, no matter how wrong he was. And she didn’t want to spend her time arguing with him, when Mr. Broadhurst was truly the cause of their contention. “You have not told any of these gentlemen of this plan, have you?”
“I have hinted to one or two you are lonely. But I didn’t think it would do to tell all of them. It would not do to have them lining up at your bedroom door.”
As if that would happen. She’d be lucky if any of them were interested in her. “Perhaps Mr. Broadhurst should pay one a stud fee,” she mused.
“He offered,” said Robert dryly. “I did not think that would be the best course or necessary.”