All About Seduction(84)

She lifted again and again, at first uncertain, but then gaining a momentum that should have pushed him over the edge. But the laudanum, which blocked his pain, combined with his concern for her, blocked his pleasure too. Although if she kept increasing the speed and vigor with which she bounced on him, spilling his seed would be inevitable.

Then she lifted up too far and he came out all the way. She tried to reseat herself, bending his cock.

He twisted away and pushed her hips back. “Ow!”

He removed his hands from her, grabbed the covers and tried to ignore the blast of pain, ignore her clumsy efforts, ignore that she hated intimacy with him.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, but there was a catch in her voice. “What am I doing wrong?”

“You’re doing fine.” He sucked in a few deep breaths.

“I’m not.” She bit her lip. “I’m not certain how long I can do this.”

“I was close,” he bit out through clenched teeth. God, if he ever understood why a woman would fake a climax, this time was it. He wanted it done and over with.

How could an act he dreamed about, longed for, have turned out so wrong? How could their bodies be joined so intimately, but he felt so disjointed? He was embarrassed by the time it was taking—a feat that would ordinarily be boastworthy was in this instance a curse. A minute or ten might make a difference as he struggled to find his release.

She tried to rejoin them, but the earlier painful miss had made him soften.

“Are you certain you can do this?” she asked.

“It would help if I didn’t feel like I was raping you,” he blurted.

Her gaze jerked to his and she seemed genuinely puzzled. Did she not have any idea what congress between a man and a woman was supposed to be like? All he wanted to do was cradle her in his arms and fall asleep, but that of course would not get her pregnant. His anger softened. This couldn’t be any easier for her. Actually, as he thought about it, she must find it far worse. He at least anticipated pleasure.

“This isn’t how it should be,” he said softly.

Her mouth tightened. “I’m sorry to disappointment you. I don’t enjoy this. I can’t imagine that I ever should. Now could you finish, please?”

“You aren’t made any different than any other woman. You can feel pleasure too.” His angry tone was hardly seductive and he silently cursed himself. What had he thought—she’d take a ride on his magic pole and find incredible pleasure? Or worse, had he believed she cared about him? Clearly she didn’t. “Let me show you.”

She jerked. “No. I’m different. I don’t—”

Fearing she might change her mind about continuing, he sighed. “All right.”

Silence settled back between them as she lifted upward and shifted, trying to rejoin them. Clumsy was the last thing he’d expected from an otherwise graceful woman. Even if she wouldn’t let him show her pleasure, he could at least teach her to move.

“Caro, I’m just going to put my hands on your hips.”

An objection flashed across her face, but he wasn’t sure if it was to his use of her name or that he was insisting on touching her.

“Nowhere else, and just to help guide your motion.” The last thing he needed was her unseating herself and causing more delay.

“Do you . . . do you want to be on top?” Her face was bright red.

“Not unless you feel unable to continue.” Jack wasn’t sure he wanted to test how well his leg could handle the exertion. And the likely adjustments he might have to try, to compensate for the heavy cast, would only lead to more embarrassing awkwardness. As it was now, he felt near exhausted, although his desire was returning. He couldn’t feel Caroline’s naked bottom on his lap without interest stirring in him.

He wanted to do this for her—and for himself. He wanted to feel like he was a whole man. Hell, he just wanted to come inside a woman, as he’d never done. Although his first thought had been that it would bind her to him, in a way she couldn’t escape. But she saw this as a business arrangement. A necessary evil.

He settled his hands on her hips and helped her squirm back onto him. He tried to direct his thoughts. This was Caroline, the woman he’d craved for years now. A rush of sensation spilled down his spine. “It’s good. Just rock a little.”

She winced. The pleasurable sensation all but withered.

“Bloody hell, are you still hurting?” He pushed her hips down and held her still.