All About Seduction(67)

Her eyes burned and she was frozen to the spot. Jack clearly didn’t want her here, but she couldn’t go back upstairs yet. Not if she wanted Mr. Broadhurst to believe she was engaging in an affair.

His voice flat, Jack said, “My father started drinking to ease his back.”

It was an opening that had her knees buckling in relief. “He drinks too much, then?”

“Never stops.” He closed his eyes.

He hadn’t said much, but he’d conveyed a wealth of information. Her father had always imbibed rather liberally, but it had grown worse, until he spent more time in his cups than not. Sarah once said to Caroline that she was lucky to have missed the last few years, when their father was a complete sot. She opened her mouth to share her own father’s failing, but snapped it shut. Speaking of it did no good. Certainly she shouldn’t share a private family matter with Jack.

She choked and then said, “You’re not like your father.”

Jack flipped back the covers and stared at his foot. He was likely trying to make his toes move, a task that had been beyond him thus far. “How would you know? You’ve never met him.”

The differences between herself and Jack seemed staggeringly monumental. Yet, they both had fathers who drank too much, they both were afraid of being dependent on others, and both of them didn’t quite fit in their respective worlds. “Does you father wait for drink to be offered or does he call for it?”

Jack’s gaze landed on her.

“Seems to me a man who has a problem with dependency would count the minutes until his next dose, would ask for more than is needed, and never would delay.”

He slowly nodded, his gaze on her intense.

Unable to bear his scrutiny, she looked away until her gaze landed on the book on the sideboard. “Would you like me to read?”

“If this morning wasn’t what I thought, what was it, then?” He steadily watched her as if he had taken in every moment of her struggle to keep family skeletons locked away.

Caroline cringed. She wanted to talk of her encounter in the library even less than she wanted to talk of her father.

She drew up and prepared to give him a haughty set-down and a lecture about knowing his place, but she couldn’t force the words out. While she did not owe Jack an explanation, he didn’t deserve to be treated so disparagingly after he’d preserved her reputation.

She turned toward the fire. “A mistake. I shouldn’t like to repeat it, or talk about it.”

He made a guttural sound, and it drew her toward him.

“What was the mistake? The man or the act?” He leaned forward on the bed.

Was it because she had chosen Berkley instead of Jack? It didn’t matter. The act and all its variations were disgusting. If a man never touched her again, it would be too soon. She wouldn’t try to get pregnant again. “All of it.”

His eyes narrowed as he watched her. His obvious disappointment made her fixate on the horror of the encounter in the library. Her throat dry, Caroline walked across the room and gripped the door handle. But she couldn’t return to her room. No doubt Mr. Broadhurst knew exactly when she left and likely would be waiting for her when she returned.

She hesitated.

“Don’t go,” Jack said in his burred voice.

Why his voice warmed her insides, she didn’t understand. “Have I encouraged you to be so familiar?”

He took his time answering and his voice was reflective. “I thought you had, but perhaps you have changed your mind.”

Caroline sagged. Perhaps she had been playing with fire, thinking when he was well enough he could make love to her . . . Make love? No, she only needed a man to father a baby. After all, she didn’t want that disgusting sort of intimacy. On the other hand she’d had her arms around him many times in the last few days and not once had it made her squeamish. But then there hadn’t been any real danger. He was far from well.

And was he interested in an affair with her, even though he was engaged to marry another woman? She couldn’t bring herself to form the question, especially after she had just rebuked him for thinking she owed him explanations.

“Read,” said Jack. “But let me watch the words as you do.”

She retrieved the book from the sideboard and carried it to his bed. After lighting a lamp, she pulled the chair close. His scent filled her nose, masculine and earthy. “Are you not tired?”

“I slept a good deal of the day.” His brown eyes softened as he watched her. “But you didn’t.”