All About Seduction(125)
He rubbed his nose against hers. “Goodness?” he teased.
“That was intense.”
“I’m sorry.” He ran his fingers down the side of her face. “This has been denied me for months and I could not hold back.”
Her blue eyes searched his. “I cannot imagine how it could have been better without actually dying.”
Smiling, he shifted his weight off her. She moaned a complaint. The narrow bed meant they were pressed close together, her shoulder in his chest, but he didn’t want to be far from her. He kissed her temple. “I don’t want to hurt you or the baby.”
“I think it is my nightgowns that suffer when we are together.” She curled into him, tucking her head into the crook of his shoulder. Her arms were still in the sleeves of the garment he’d ripped open. “I am not so easily broken.”
He ran his hand over her hip. Her skin was faintly damp, but silky smooth. Now, while he was sated, he should do all the gentle things he’d neglected in his rush to have her. But as he touched her, he realized the fire was not truly banked and required little coaxing to flare anew.
But this time he did touch her gently and slowly, until she quivered whenever his fingers moved. He stared into her face, drinking in her features, measuring each twinge of passion in her expression and memorizing every detail about her, from the flecks of darker blue in her irises to the tiny beauty mark just under her left eye.
As he moved on top of her to join their bodies, she whispered, “I love you, John Applegate. I will always love you.”
And again he was lost. His voice cracked as he whispered back his love. Desire tangled with emotion and brought him into her in a way that was beyond bliss. She felt it too as tears leaked out of her eyes and she shuddered into a orgasm so powerful it swept him along with her and blended them into one creature with no end or beginning, but a paradise of the mind and a rapture of their intertwined bodies. He started and ended with her, and a life without her in it would be a barren wasteland.
She slid her hand along his shoulders. “I don’t know how to do this, Jack. I can’t stand living with him anymore. I want to be with you.”
He reared back and looked down at her, finally connecting her “anywhere” with what she meant.
His heart soared. She wanted to be with him.
Then a tiny nudge against his stomach reminded him of the baby she carried.
Reality dug in its claws and shook him. He had nothing, only a few shillings he’d saved from his wages. He couldn’t support her, let alone a child. He was a failure. His pathetic experiments that he’d been so eager to show her were drops in an ocean that would need to be filled before he could be considered respectable.
How could they bring a baby into a life of poverty?
“Caro, you have to think of our baby. I wouldn’t have agreed to father a baby if I didn’t know my child would have a better life. Would have advantages I could only dream about.”
Chapter 25
So for Jack it was about the money. Caroline twisted away and sat up, tugging the sheet to cover her nakedness. “You’re right. I should be practical for the baby. I don’t want any harm to come to this child because I find it hard to endure.”
Jack sat behind her and wrapped his arms around her. She would have pushed him away, except his hand curled protectively around her stomach.
He pressed a kiss to her shoulder. “Has something changed? Has Broadhurst threatened you?”
“No. Nothing’s changed.” Except she could no longer stand the emptiness of her life. What would be best for the child, the cold sterile life filled with things or two loving parents? She knew the answer, but she hated that the world valued wealth and legitimacy more than love.
Jack’s fingers tightened and then he splayed them out, gently rubbing them across her belly. His unfettered passion earlier had surprised her, but also lifted her to new heights. When it seemed he couldn’t get enough of her, she believed it was because he truly loved her. But it was easy for a woman to delude herself into believing a man cared more than he did.
She just didn’t know if he loved her, or he loved the life he could have if she wanted him after Mr. Broadhurst was gone. Or was he truly concerned about giving the best life possible to his baby?
Jack was a good man, and he hated receiving handouts. She didn’t know a harder worker. He didn’t just treat his clerical duties as tasks to be put aside when the day expired. He learned more than he needed to know, always searching for the why of what they did. And on more than one occasion he’d returned from being summoned to the working side of the mill, dirty from disassembling and repairing the machinery, when it was no longer his responsibility. He thought more like an owner than an employee. He had the right attitude to be successful, he just lacked money and opportunity.