After All (Cape Harbor #1)(60)

“I think we’re being set up,” Brooklyn said to Bowie as she watched Simone, Carly, and Brystol disappear into the darkness.

“Want to go for a walk?”

She did but didn’t want to come off as eager, so she pretended to think about it for a moment. Bowie, it seemed, had other ideas. He stood and reached for her hand. “What about Luke?” she asked.

He held up his other hand, showing her Luke’s red leash. “He’s hooked up. It’s too dark for him to run around without supervision.”

Brooklyn took his hand but let go as soon as she stood, then wiped the sand off the back of her shorts and fell in step next to him. They walked until the dry sand turned wet and then turned toward town.

“A setup, huh?”

She shrugged, but there was a good chance he couldn’t see her. The moon wasn’t overly bright, and there were very few bonfires on the beach at the moment. “I think this whole thing is a setup. She wants me to stay, mostly for Brystol, and I think Carly feels that if I’m back with all my friends, the decision will be a no-brainer.”

“Is it?”

“No, it’s not. I’m confused, especially when it comes to you.”

“Why is that?”

She stopped in front of him and searched for his eyes. “Are you married?”

She expected him to take a step back, to put some distance between them, because she was sure she’d called him out on this little tidbit. Not that he had to tell her, but she felt like it was something he should’ve said to her by now, but he surprised her by stepping forward and placing his hand on her hip, just above the waistband of her shorts. His fingertips pressed into her skin, causing her to shiver.

“I’m not married, but I was. Our divorce will be final in a few months. They day I saw you, my world spun on its axis. I met my ex at the diner only to find out she was giving up her claim to alimony because she was getting remarried. We haven’t been separated nine months, and she’s already engaged to another man. At first, I was pissed because she’s been taking my money, all while she’s with this other guy, and then I realized I was going to be a free man in three months, so all was okay. The day became gradually better when I got the call about the inn, and as much as I wanted to be angry that you came back, I couldn’t be.”

“Okay,” she said quietly. Divorced, she could handle.

“Okay, what?” His hand moved from her hip to her hair, where he gently pushed the loose strands behind her ear.

She shook her head, unable to come up with a proper response. She couldn’t make a commitment, not to him, and not to living in Cape Harbor, and she didn’t want to waste Bowie’s time with the back-and-forth going on in her head. However, denying her feelings for him was becoming harder and harder.

“You’ve been flirting with me.”

“And you have with me.”

She couldn’t argue with him there. “You’re easy to be around. Our relationship—the one we had before.” She paused and gathered her thoughts. “Sometimes it feels like we could have it again if we tried.”

“Is that what you want?”

“I don’t know. I don’t want to rush into anything and then leave, and I don’t want the opportunity to pass by either.”

“You’re not staying?”

Brooklyn held her head high and said, “I don’t know yet.”

They stared at each other, both lost in the darkness with the waves pushing toward the surf. They were at a standstill, neither of them moving until Bowie cupped the back of her head and pulled her toward his lips. She placed her hands on his chest and pushed him away.

“Don’t. Don’t do that.”

“Why not? What the hell are you so afraid of?”

She sighed. “You. I’m afraid of what you represent.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“The past. Austin. This place. What we did.”

“Get over it.”

She threw her hands up in the air and scoffed. “Easier said than done. You aren’t reminded of the damn past every time you look at your daughter. You aren’t living in a house that is a shrine to the man that died on the night we . . .” She paused and took a deep breath. “I live with this guilt.”

“And you think I don’t?”

“I don’t know what you live with, Bowie. I’m not here.”

“You’re right,” he said, stepping toward her. “You’re not here. You bailed when shit got bad. You left us all to pick up the pieces as if they were only ours to pick up.”

“And what? You think I should stay and live with everyone hating me? Like Grady?” She shook her head. “No thanks.” She turned away from him, but he wasn’t having it. “Stop,” she said when he stood in front of her.

“I’m not the enemy, Brooklyn. Your thoughts and memories of the past are, and yet you treat me like I’ve done something to hurt you when all I’ve ever done was be by your side and love you from afar. What happened between us had nothing to do with Austin’s decision to be reckless that night.”

“If we hadn’t fought—” She looked away.

“If you hadn’t fought that night, it would’ve been the next night or the one after that. The two of you were heading in different directions; you were from the start. Neither of you were willing to admit it because you were comfortable. Believe me—I get that. But to blame yourself, to blame me, it’s not right.”