Acts of Violet(20)
“That’s better.” How grateful she seems, even to get the half-truth. “You usually don’t wander outside.”
“The vigil stress must be getting to me.”
“You keep saying that. Maybe you should talk to someone about it.”
“Maybe. But for now, could we keep this between us? Your father doesn’t need to know.”
“Because you don’t want him to worry, either.”
“Right.”
“’Kay.” She motions to her laptop. “I should get back to it. Night, Mom.” Her nod releases me.
As I leave the kitchen, my eyes wander to the digital clock above the stove. The blue numbers glow 2:22.
Tiptoeing upstairs, I tell myself it doesn’t mean anything.
It must be like when you learn a new word and see it everywhere. The anniversary of Violet’s disappearance is coming up, and 222 was our special sign-off, so that’s why I’m noticing it more. What’s it called when the brain tries to make meaning out of something random? Pareidolia? But instead of seeing faces in clouds or hearing hidden messages in songs, I’m haunted by triple twos.
It’s human nature to notice patterns. That’s all this is, a pattern. A series of coincidences; nothing worth ascribing meaning to. I don’t understand why people feel the need to do that, assign fake significance to happenstance. Guess it’s more comforting to believe the universe sends signs and omens, that there’s a method to its madness, instead of accepting the true chaos of our reality.
Violet was quick to find a deeper meaning in such things, eager to ascribe a universal subtext. Three words I never need to hear again in my life: “It’s a sign.” Insert liberal exclamation marks from her, eye-rolling from me.
And yet, as I scrub the grit off my bare feet and sneak back into bed, I can’t help but wonder about number patterns and my sleepwalking and whether there’s something here I’m missing.
More likely, it’s my brain’s way of reminding me there’s someone not here I’m missing.
The bigger concern is how far afield my brain might lead my sleeping body. Tonight, I avoided what could’ve been a dangerous situation.
It might be time for some outside help.
Strange Exits
Episode 2: “Violet’s Legacy”
CAMERON FRANK [STUDIO]: It’s a Thursday night and I’m in an industrial-chic duplex hotel suite in Lower Manhattan. I’ve never seen accommodations like these, not outside of movies and magazines. We’re talking exposed brick walls, floor-to-ceiling factory windows, polished concrete floors, furniture that resembles Tetris pieces, and copper accents. You could throw a party for fifty in here and it wouldn’t feel crowded, but there’s only five of us, drinking wine and getting to know each other. Our lux surroundings, while excellent for social engagement, are terrible for taping a podcast. Luckily, the bedroom is sound treated, so that’s where we gather, wineglasses in tow.
It isn’t long before the conversation gets lively.
[FEMALE VOICE 1]: I worshipped her. I think a lot of girls in the nineties did. Watching Violet Volk do what she did gave me this sense of … possibility. It made me feel like my life had no limits. She was a consummate performer and the feminist icon us Gen Xers didn’t know we needed.
CAMERON FRANK [STUDIO]: That’s Noriko Tomlin, author of the unauthorized biography Violet Volk: Behind the Magic, which is getting rereleased next month with bonus content. Noriko is also a self-professed “VV scholar,” and many consider her to be the unofficial leader of the Wolf Pack.
[FEMALE VOICE 2]: While I see merit in Volk’s contribution to stage magic, I have problems with the blind idolatry associated with her, given how self-serving and potentially damaging she was as a public figure. There’s no question celebrity culture has been on a downhill slide for a number of years, and while many like to attribute this to reality television and the famous-for-being-famous set, I’d go back earlier and say the descent began with Violet Volk.
CAMERON FRANK [STUDIO]: That’s Janet Lurie, documentary filmmaker, essayist, and social historian and commentator. Her latest film, Where Things Are Hollow, an examination of fame and beauty standards in the age of social media, is making the rounds at film festivals and already receiving critical acclaim.
[MALE VOICE 1]: There are tricks she performed that nobody’s figured out to this day. All that stuff with fire and blood and levitation—it was mind-blowing. Even knowing deep down these things had to have a logical explanation, sometimes you still felt like you were watching something … miraculous. Violet Volk didn’t perform magic—she was magic.
CAMERON FRANK [STUDIO]: That’s Viva Vox, television personality, magician, and drag performer, best known for his work as a Violet Volk impersonator. He’s currently performing on Broadway, and this is his hotel suite. Also, in case anyone’s wondering, Viva has no preferred pronouns but is typically referred to as he/him when out of drag, and he’s not dolled up tonight.
[MALE VOICE 2]: I call bullshit. You know how many guys can do what she did? Pfft. If Violet wasn’t a sexy chick, we wouldn’t even be talking about her. And if we’re gonna be honest, she was no great beauty, either.
CAMERON FRANK [STUDIO]: And that is Ron Vest, former chairman of the board for the Alcazar, an exclusive members-only club for magicians and magic aficionados. He’s retired now but worked there for over thirty years in various capacities, including talent booker and head of operations before joining the board of directors. Numerous stage magicians have crossed his path at various points in their careers, and those who’ve crossed him have been lucky to have any career at all.