Act Your Age, Eve Brown (The Brown Sisters #3)(99)
Jacob’s jaw bunched and he shifted his weight ever so slightly from one foot to the other. His hand rose toward his glasses, faltered, fell. Rose again, smoothed over his already smooth hair, and fell. He opened his mouth, closed it, and Eve wondered vaguely if he was having trouble telling her that he still didn’t want to see her ever again and, since he’d established she wasn’t being kidnapped by a giant tattooed biker, she should go away now.
Everything about her drooped.
Then he bit his lip and said, “Eve, I—I was going to get you flowers.”
Her jaw dropped enough to let in flies and let out her garbled sound of confusion. “You were? But . . .” Then slow realization dawned, and she found herself grinning uncontrollably. “That’s funny. I was rushing off to tell you that you were an insufferable prick yesterday”—Jacob seemed to wilt before her very eyes—“but also, that it would take far more than that to get rid of me. Because I’ve chosen you, Jacob, and I trust that choice. So you need to trust it, too. If you can’t—”
She took a deep breath, tapping her fingers against her thighs, wishing she had music in her ear to sweep her through this moment. Hoping she hadn’t read this situation all wrong.
“If you can’t,” she continued, “then this isn’t going to work. Because I am a grown woman and I need the people around me to respect my decisions. Instead,” she added pointedly, “of pushing me away. The thing is, Jacob, I trust you. I believe in you. I think this can work, and I really, really want to try. So.” She pressed her lips together nervously. “What do you think about that?”
After a frozen moment of obvious shock, Jacob gave her a slow but brilliant smile. “I think I’ll do anything you want and everything you need as long as it means I get to try with someone as lovely as you. I think—”
His words were drowned out by a sudden torrent of beeps. They both turned to find Jacob’s car being gently steered by Tessa onto a grassy verge, while the cars behind kicked off as the light turned green.
“Just bear with,” Alex yelled out of the back window. “My mate’s trying to get this girl—it’s a whole thing—and we can’t exactly drive off and leave them here because they’re both traffic disasters, so . . .”
Eve whipped around to look at Jacob. “Um—”
“Ignore her,” Jacob said firmly. “She was dropped as a child. Often, I assume.”
Eve laughed, but the sound came out a little . . . damp. She wasn’t sure why until Jacob gave her a tortured look and cupped her face with both hands. He pulled her close and murmured, “Oh, don’t cry, Sunshine,” and kissed her forehead, and she was so relieved she almost fell over.
“I knew you were bullshitting,” she half sobbed, “you awful bastard, telling me to fuck off like that—”
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I’m so, so sorry, Eve. You’re right. I thought everything between us had been . . . something different, and I was the only one who hadn’t understood. I thought I was the fool always wanting too much, too hard, and I freaked the fuck out. I shouldn’t have done it. I need to . . . to deal with my shit, clearly, and I’m going to. Because we could be something special. We are something special, and I won’t let myself stand in the way of it.”
Eve’s half sobs were veering dangerously toward full ones. He just—he was so earnest and she loved him so much and no matter what he thought, it wasn’t all his fault. “I said everything wrong, I know I did. I was just trying to—reassure you,” she babbled, “because I knew you’d be upset, of course you were, but I thought you’d care more about my intentions toward the B&B than my intentions toward you, so I started there—”
“And I should’ve let you fucking talk instead of rushing to think the worst, because I’m done thinking the worst of you,” he said. “I swear, I am. All it ever does is bite me in the arse, and more importantly, you don’t deserve it. You’re incredible and you’re more than worth my trust, and . . . You’re the one thing I know I can rely on, Eve. It’s fast, and it’s ridiculous, but it’s true. It’s you.”
Oh dear. She hadn’t been prepared for that. Nor had she been prepared for the absolute tsunami of love and mush and rainbows that dragged her under when she looked at him. God, she’d missed him, and now he was here, and she almost couldn’t cope.
Then he made everything a thousand times worse by saying, “My only excuse is that I—I love you. I love you so much and I was kind of terrified, because when you love someone, everything hurts a thousand times more. And I have all this shit in my head, shit that pops up at the worst time and makes me think the sky is falling. I—sometimes I find it difficult to believe that anyone could want me as much as I want them. Never mind someone as amazing as you. And I let that get the better of me. But I’m working on that, because it hurt you, and the one fucking thing I refuse to do is hurt you.” The words came fast and obviously nervous, Jacob’s sharp cheekbones stained a soft pink.
He didn’t stop, though.
“I suppose I’m going to have to examine my feelings and all that shit,” he said with obvious distaste. “To make sure I don’t hurt you again. And it’ll be worth it, because I love you. Even if you just stand there staring at me forever instead of saying something.” He offered a smile that was more like a wince, his hand cradling her face, the warmth of his body pressed close to hers. He was perfect. He was just overwhelmingly perfect and she couldn’t even choke out the words to tell him so.