Ace of Shades (The Shadow Game #1)(73)

Even so, the alleys felt narrower and darker than usual, the way Olde Town probably looked to those who didn’t belong. But Levi more than belonged—he owned this place. Its filth and rust and ruin were the Iron Lord’s claim.

“How are you doing?” Jac asked beside him.

Was his unease that obvious? He molded his face into a neutral expression. “I’m fine,” he answered.

“I know what Reymond was to you.”

“I’d rather not talk about it.” He didn’t think his current state of mind was related to Reymond. He knew the ache of grief from his mother’s death. It hadn’t come yet—Reymond’s death still felt unbelievable, more than anything else—but it would. This feeling just wasn’t that.

“Jonas already has patrols stationed around the borders.” Jac shook his head. “I know we talked about getting some dealers into Double or Nothing, but that den is right on the border. Might be too risky now. There’s plenty of other opportunities in our own territory.”

Already, things were changing. Levi typically met with Reymond once a week to talk about the investment scheme or the happenings of New Reynes. Reymond always paid attention to things Levi didn’t care about: politics, the Families, current events. But if it couldn’t earn him a profit, Levi generally tuned it out.

“You could be my second,” Reymond had suggested to him several years ago. It’d been October, around Levi’s fourteenth birthday. Reymond had bought Levi a beer, which Levi had pretended was his “first” drink, otherwise Reymond would’ve been mad.

“I don’t want to be your second,” Levi had answered.

“Then what do you want?”

“I want to be a lord.”

Reymond shook his head. “You’re better than us.”

“No, I’m not,” Levi had said. “Not yet.”

When Levi first had the idea for the Irons’ consulting business, he’d pitched it to Reymond. When he’d made a few enemies on the streets, Reymond had taken care of them. When he’d needed something—anything at all—Reymond’s door was open.

Reymond hadn’t been his best friend. He wouldn’t sit up all night, several glasses drunk, talking about the things that haunted him. Levi turned to Jac when he was looking for a typical night’s worth of trouble. But it was Reymond he’d turned to when he’d needed help.

But the one time Reymond had needed him, he’d been too late.

“Let’s not talk about Double or Nothing right now,” Levi said quickly, anxious to focus on something else. Maybe grief wasn’t waiting around to be found. Maybe it was called.

“Chez will be expecting volts,” Jac said. Today was Thursday, and although it wasn’t an official Irons meeting, it was collection day. Chez delivered the volts collected from their clients to Levi, and Levi recorded them and distributed all the Irons’ individual earnings to Chez. Chez was the middleman between him, his clients and the other Irons. Levi used to spend more face time with his gang, had always made a point to check in with all the Irons individually...until Vianca’s scheme started dragging him down.

“Then I’ll give him the volts,” Levi answered seriously.

“You need those,” Jac said. “I know you don’t have the ten thousand for Sedric yet.”

“I have seven. I can part with five hundred and earn it back tonight.”

“You’re good with cards, Levi, but your life isn’t something to gamble.”

He wasn’t being reckless. He just couldn’t hold out on the Irons anymore. Every time he looked at Mansi, she was a bit thinner.

All this time, Levi hadn’t thought he had a choice. He was backed into a desperate situation. Stealing from the Irons had felt like his only option. But the more he interacted with Enne, the more he remembered what he was like before he came to New Reynes. Every time he lied to her, he had to ask himself: Why? Why not tell her about his own Shadow Cards? About how he ran the Irons? About the kind of man he was?

But he knew why. He couldn’t bear to see the disappointment in her eyes if she knew the truth. The one thing he hadn’t given to this city was his shame.

“I need to make things right,” he said quietly.

Jac nodded. It was exactly the sort of language his second understood. Three years ago, after Jac had lost months and friends and dignity to Lullaby, the first thing he did was make amends. After Levi paid Sedric and put this mess behind him, he intended to build the legacy and empire he’d always dreamed of.

Sometimes we’re not who we want to be because we’re supposed to be something else. That was what he’d told Enne the other night. And it made him realize, every time he felt guilt and disgust in his chest over what he was doing, that it was his own fault. Not Vianca’s. Not Sedric’s. His.

He was meant for more than this.

“Have you talked to Enne since yesterday?” Jac asked.

“No,” Levi said. The events of the past two days flooded over him like a strong drink. The way her body had felt tucked against his. How her breath had caught on the Mole when he’d whispered in her ear. The gleam in her eyes when she’d claimed she knew what she wanted, even as she looked at him like that. Like she knew exactly what she did to him. The other night, when she told him she was a Mizer, he’d thought he sensed her mutual desire. But as yesterday had proved, the flirting was definitely one-sided. He couldn’t let the hopeless attraction get to his head—he had more important things to focus on.