A Winter Wedding(46)

He’d been drinking. She could hear it in the way he slurred his words. “Mad? That’s what you think? That I’m mad, and when I calm down it’ll all go away?”

“That’s what I’m hoping. You must be on the rag to be so bitchy.”

She almost couldn’t believe her ears. “Could you be any more dismissive of my feelings and concerns? Any more disrespectful to women in general?”

“I wouldn’t suggest it if it wasn’t true. You get like this when it’s that time of the month.”

“No, I don’t,” she argued, getting up to pace. “I’m having a legitimate problem with the attention you’re devoting to Crystal, and I’ve had that problem for months. How dare you blame it on my hormones!”

“It’s jealousy, plain and simple!”

“In addition to feeling as if I’m being misled!”

“Women!” he cried. “You’re all the same. Do you have to be so damn insecure?”

Lourdes gripped the phone tighter. She’d had enough of their arguing, but the cavalier way he was acting now incensed her again. “If you’re saying that your ex-wife behaved in the same way, she had good reason, remember? You cheated on her—and I’m guessing more than the one time you admitted to me.”

“Because she didn’t make me happy.”

“Then you should’ve left her!”

“I should never have told you what happened,” he said. “I knew you’d throw it up to me one day.”

“Was that the only time?”

“There were a couple of others, but that was after our marriage fell apart. There was no saving it. I didn’t even want to.”

“So, yes, you cheated multiple times.” She pivoted at the far end of the room. “Don’t you dare act as if I’m the one in the wrong!”

“I shared something I wouldn’t tell just anyone. I’m asking you to cut me a break, that’s all.”

Was she being insensitive and unreasonable? A shrew for raising the past?

Resisting the urge to continue the fight, she curled her fingernails into her palms. “I just want the truth, Derrick,” she said calmly, evenly, as she paused at the dining table. “If we’re going to continue, there has to be honesty between us.”

“I’m not in love with Crystal!”

Again, Lourdes forced back the emotion that came rushing to the forefront of her mind—and her mouth. “That’s not necessarily the issue. I’m asking if you’ve ever had sex with her. A simple yes or no will do.”

The silence that followed lasted a long time—and the longer it stretched out, the more chilled Lourdes became. He had something to say.

“Derrick?” she said, her voice a plea. “Tell me the truth. Please. Have you ever been with her?”

“Damn it, Lourdes. Why do you have to keep pushing? Yes, we were together once, okay? Are you happy now? It didn’t mean anything! We were working late one night and...and we got carried away. I would’ve told you, but I knew you’d make a much bigger deal out of it than it has to be.”

Lourdes’s whole body had gone weak at yes. She hardly had the strength to remain on her feet and keep the phone to her ear. She could hear Derrick talking—pleading and cajoling and apologizing. There was at least one “I love you” in there. He kept pausing, obviously expecting her to react, but she couldn’t drag a single word to her lips. A loud voice sounded in her head, over and over, like a blaring horn. He just admitted it! He just admitted it! You were right all along!

“Lourdes? You still there? You gotta believe me, babe. It was stupid and...and mechanical. It meant nothing. I swear.”

Light-headed, Lourdes lurched back to the couch, leaning on all the furniture in between for support. Then she sank down and put her head between her knees.

“Aren’t you going to say anything?” he asked. “Go ahead. Yell. I deserve it. Just know that...that it wasn’t your fault. And it has no bearing on how I feel about you.”

She squeezed her eyes shut. Breathe.

“Honey? Don’t take it too hard. Please! I wanted to tell you from the beginning. You have to believe me on that. But you’ve been so touchy about Crystal. And you’ve been dealing with...such terrible setbacks in your career. I didn’t want to add to that.”

Then why had he? Apparently, she’d been trying to cope with those setbacks while he’d been off banging his new client.

“I always planned to tell you—later. I didn’t think this was a good time,” he was saying when she tuned in again.

“When would be a better time?” she asked breathlessly. “After we were married?”

“There was no rush. We haven’t even set a date.”

“Because of this.”

He went silent.

As Lourdes sat up, her dinner threatened to come up, too. She barely managed to hold everything down. But some masochistic need to ferret out all the details took over. “How many times?”

“Once. Just once.”

Like he’d first claimed with his wife? “When?”

“A month ago. And it hasn’t happened since.”

The tears burning in her eyes began to roll down her cheeks. She sniffed, trying to hold them back.