A Whisper of Disgrace(20)
‘Beneficial?’ she snorted. ‘I think not. I think that marriage to you would be something of a nightmare.’
‘Are you so sure?’ he mocked.
‘Absolutely positive!’ she asserted, until she forced herself to confront an alternative which was even worse. She couldn’t go home and yet she couldn’t stay here with rapidly dwindling resources. Even if she ran to somewhere else and found herself a humble job, her family would surely come after her and find her. She forced herself to smile. ‘But I can see that it would have some advantages.’
‘You mean you’re now agreeing to my proposition?’
‘Only on certain conditions.’
‘I’m afraid that won’t be possible,’ he stated softly. ‘You don’t get to bargain with a sheikh.’
‘Oh, but I do!’ she said firmly. ‘Because you need this marriage more than I do!’
‘You think so?’
‘I know so.’ She shot him a look of pure challenge. ‘You’re afraid of what my brothers might do when they find out about our liaison, aren’t you?’
‘Are you out of your mind?’ His lips curled with derision. ‘Kulal Al-Dimashqi is afraid of no one, Rosa. Not now and not ever. But I love my country and the fallout from our ill-advised night together could bring shame on our royal house.’ There was a pause. ‘You have no need to worry about tying yourself to me for a lifetime if that is what gives you cause for hesitation, for I will happily give you a divorce once a suitable time has elapsed.’
Rosa mulled over his words, aware that he was offering her a way out. It might not have been the way she would have chosen, but she wasn’t exactly being dazzled by choice, was she? ‘How long?’ she questioned. ‘Will we have to be married?’
He glimmered her a cool smile. ‘How does a year sound?’
‘Like eleven months too long?’
‘I can assure you that it will fly by,’ he said smoothly. ‘Because time always does. Before you know it, the year will be up and I will send you on your way with a fortune big enough to guarantee your independence and a lifetime’s memories of sexual bliss.’
Rosa met the gleam of his ebony eyes. His sexual boast was shocking and his arrogance was second to none, and yet. It seemed such a stupid thing to feel, but in the midst of all her confused emotions, she was aware only of a feeling of safety when she looked at him. Because whatever faults he possessed, she felt sure he would protect her. Nobody would dare come near her if Sheikh Kulal Al-Dimashqi was fighting in her corner.
Even if she could wave a magic wand—which is what she’d originally wanted—she knew now that her old life was over. She couldn’t go back. She’d fled to France and booked into a cheap hotel and sold an old family bracelet and nearly got herself laid. For the first time in her life, she’d felt as if she was really living—the way her brothers were allowed to live—instead of existing in the pampered little bubble they’d created for her.
She’d tasted freedom and found it a heady brew and she could never return to the life she’d known before. All those eyes watching her. All those unspoken codes she’d grown up with, and the expectation which came with them. That Rosa was a good girl and that one day she’d marry some suitable Sicilian who had been picked for her.
If she was going to have to endure the ignominy of an arranged marriage, then why shouldn’t she arrange it herself? Especially as this particular marriage had a get-out clause. She wanted independence and Kulal had offered it to her. He had offered her a generous pay-out too. For the first time in her life she would be independent! Imagine being able to do as she wanted, without having to run to someone else for permission. Her traditional family could not object once she’d got that all-important band of gold on her finger.
‘It’s a very tempting offer,’ she said.
‘I find it’s always wise to make your offers tempting. It usually gets people to agree to them.’ A smile slid across his lips as he slanted her a quizzical look. ‘And your “conditions” are?’
Rosa hesitated. She had been about to tell him that it would have to be a celibate marriage. That she would not have sex with a man who thought so little of women—a man who had been prepared to cheat on his ex-fiancée without a flicker of conscience. But she could see now that such a demand would be impossible to enforce. Could she really imagine saying no to the sexual advances of a man like Kulal Al-Dimashqi? Could she really picture herself trying to resist him? She felt the sudden lurch of her heart.