A Walk Along the Beach(60)

Tears filled Leesa’s eyes and I noticed that Carrie struggled to hold back her own.

Leesa nodded. “I barely recognized her when we arrived. At first I thought we had the wrong room.” She wiped her hand across her face, her mascara raining black streaks down her cheeks. “How could this happen so quickly?”

“It was like this when she first got leukemia,” I assured both friends. “I should have better prepared you. It’s bad before it gets better. She’s sick now, but the turning point is coming. Think positively. That’s my mantra. Believe. Hold on to hope.”

I understood what Leesa and Carrie were saying. It had all come on so quickly. It shocked me that my sister had functioned so well for as long as she had, teaching yoga and fitness classes while ignoring any symptom she might have had.

I accepted part of the blame myself. I should have paid closer attention, should have watched for the signs. In thinking back, I speculated that deep down, Harper must have somehow known. I remembered the phone call I’d had with my brother earlier that summer, mentioning all the crazy things Harper had been doing: bungee-jumping and everything else. This sudden desire to climb the largest mountain of the entire Cascade mountain range. All of that had come out of the blue. It was as if my little sister’s subconscious had told her to squeeze in as many life experiences as she could manage.

“She’s getting better,” I said again, wanting desperately to believe it myself. Dr. Carroll had given us hope and I was holding on to the thin thread with both hands, refusing to let go.

    Leesa and Carrie left shortly after our conversation and I returned to my e-reader. Harper slept most of the afternoon.

Drained from her friends’ visit, my sister remained asleep when Chantelle arrived. Lucas followed a short while later.

“How’d it go?” Lucas asked.

He didn’t need to explain the question. Harper had talked about Leesa and Carrie driving all the way from Oceanside from the minute she’d learned they were coming. It meant a great deal to her that her friends were willing to take the long drive through heavy Seattle traffic to see her.

“I should have prepared them for the changes in Harper,” I admitted, regretting that I hadn’t.

“Have the test results come in for today?” Lucas asked.

Come to think of it, I hadn’t heard, which was unusual. I stepped out of the room, prepared to ask the nurses, when I saw Dr. Carroll. He acknowledged me, and then came over to where I stood.

“Did I see your brother and his fiancée arrive?”

“Yes, they’re here. We didn’t get the test results back today.”

“Yes,” he said slowly, sadly. “I’m wondering if it would be possible to speak to you and your family privately?”

I swallowed down the shock of his question and nodded. “Of course.”

I raced back to Harper’s room to get Lucas and Chantelle.

Dr. Carroll led us to a private room and closed the door. His face was sad and somber. Lowering his eyes, he blinked and murmured, “I was hoping to see a rise in her white blood cells. This is the point I would expect her body to respond, which is why I said what I did about her participating in the wedding. The tests that came back this afternoon showed a rapid decline, worse than anything I anticipated.” He drew in a harsh breath. “It might be best if you considered holding the wedding sooner rather than wait.”

A cry escaped my lips before I could hold it back.

Lucas placed his hand on my shoulder.

    “We have to believe,” I insisted, stiffening. “We can’t give up hope. It might look bad now, but it could get better, right?” My eyes pleaded with Dr. Carroll.

“That’s what we all want, Willa,” he assured me. “More than anything, I want Harper to recover.”

“Is there something you’re not telling us?” Lucas asked.

“Not at all. I’m simply being honest with you. Of course, my hope, the hope of the entire staff, is that there will be a turning point. All I’m saying is that it would be best to remain positive, but to prepare for the worst.”

“You can prepare for the worst, but I am clinging to hope.” The hot fire that burned inside of me eased. I refused to allow anyone near my sister who didn’t believe she had the will and the mental fortitude to survive.





CHAPTER 23





Willa


Chantelle was the first one to recover. “I believe we should follow Dr. Carroll’s advice. We’ll move up the wedding date,” she said.

Lucas looked uncertain. “What about—”

“I’ve got this,” she said with a certainty that left both Lucas and me speechless.

“We’ll get married next Friday or Saturday…don’t worry, I’ll take care of the details. Leave it in my hands.”

Dr. Carroll didn’t pull any punches, looking us all straight in the eye. “The sooner the wedding can be arranged, the better.”

For my part, I remained stunned. As hard as I fought against it, I was left feeling as if there was no hope left. None of what was happening added up. Harper had been diagnosed only a few weeks ago. How was it possible that a girl who had been ready to climb Mount Rainier could be close to death a measly six weeks later? I clung to the memory that my sister had pulled through before and she could again. For one wild moment, I found it impossible to breathe. I was numb, lost in my thoughts. It felt as if I was fighting every step of this journey, slogging my way up an impossibly steep hill.