A Walk Along the Beach(48)

Finding an apartment within her and Leesa’s budget was proving to be more difficult than either of them had imagined. Every afternoon for the next week, the two girls went out on the great apartment search, finally seeing one that they could easily swing, rent-wise.

“How was it?” I asked.

Harper groaned. “The entire building should be condemned.”

    “That bad?”

“Worse.”

“I’m sorry.”

Sinking onto the sofa, Harper let out a discouraged sigh. “I never dreamed it would be this difficult.”

I sympathized, but there wasn’t anything I could do. Leesa lived with her parents, and I knew she was desperate to get out on her own as much as Harper was.

In the middle of Harper’s angst, Sean was busy getting ready to travel to the Philippines. Not knowing how long he would be out of the country, I made a point of seeing him every day. He worked ridiculously long hours, sorting through all the photos from his trip to Bolivia and getting them ready to submit for publication. For these two trips to land almost on top of each other had stretched him to the limit. His ordeal with typhoid had set him back two weeks, and he worked every spare moment to make up for the time he’d lost.

With Harper out of sorts and Sean still recovering and working all hours of the day and night, I felt like the peanut butter between two slices of bread. Both seemed to need me. Harper would rather bite off her arm than admit it. I know she was disappointed with missing out on the mountain-climbing adventure. Her struggles to find a decent apartment depressed her further. She felt off in other ways, too, and I found myself stressing about her health. I didn’t dare mention it. Far be it for me to let her know I was worried!

Bandit seemed to know Sean was about to leave. He moped around the house and lost his appetite. I wasn’t in much better shape myself. The closer the day came to when Sean was scheduled to go, the lower my spirits were sinking. I tried to hide how I felt, but Sean easily saw through me.

Two weeks after he announced he’d gotten the assignment, we dropped Bandit off with Logan to dog-sit until Sean returned. Then I drove him into Seattle to catch his flight. My chest felt like there was a huge knot in it as we drove, increasing in size the closer we got.

    After we parked, he’d checked in his luggage, carrying with him as much of his camera gear as the airlines would allow. His equipment was expensive. It went without saying that his biggest fear was that the airlines would lose it.

We sat outside of security and had coffee, neither one of us speaking.

“You’ll let me know when you arrive?” I asked, swallowing around the lump in my throat.

“Of course.”

“I’m going to miss you.”

He reached across the table and wove our fingers together. “I’ll miss you more.”

“No, you won’t. You’ll be busy taking pictures and will barely have time to give me a thought.”

He snorted as if that was impossible. “Wrong.”

I so badly wanted to believe him.

“Besides, you’ll be busy preparing for Lucas and Chantelle’s wedding.”

Chantelle and Lucas had come to visit the weekend before. Harper and I had been fitted for our bridesmaid’s gowns, both of which were stunning. Then they’d done their own taste test and couldn’t agree on which cake they liked best. The issue was settled when I agreed to bake two cakes. One lemon and one Funfetti. I had no idea my brother detested coconut. According to him, he’d rather eat earwax than coconut.

When we couldn’t delay Sean’s departure any longer, I walked him to the security line.

“The weeks will fly by,” he promised, turning me into his arms.

I rested my head against his shoulder. “Yeah, right.” I hugged him so hard I was afraid I might have injured his ribs. He kissed me and then reluctantly released me. I remained where I was until he cleared security.

    Waving at me, he walked backward, then turned and raced toward his gate, knowing he would probably be the last passenger to board the plane.

The drive home seemed to take forever. I didn’t know how Seattle commuters could deal with this traffic. My heart felt heavy in my chest and didn’t ease as I neared home. Sean had left me with a key to his house and asked if I would collect his mail and water his plants.

Instead of going back to the apartment, I stopped off at his place to make sure everything was as it should be. Sean was part of my life now, and I didn’t know how I would manage without him. I hated that he never seemed to take assignments that were close to home—well, other than the mural one over in eastern Washington. I didn’t know why it was necessary for him to travel to developing countries for a story.

If I loved Sean, I knew I would need to accept that this was his life, part and parcel of this man who had come to mean so much to me. This was what he loved. I couldn’t ask him to change any more than he would make that request of me.

The apartment was dark when I returned well past the dinner hour. I wasn’t hungry and hadn’t stopped to eat. To my surprise, Harper sat in the dark in the living room, Snowball on her lap.

“Hey, do you want me to turn on the lights?” I asked.

“No.”

Something was drastically wrong. I heard it in the lone word. Fear. Anxiety. Doubt.