A Summer to Remember(64)
To say I was angry was an understatement of the year. I knew it probably wasn’t his fault and many times after a relationship ended, an accidental pregnancy was discovered but many women usually took care of the situation. Obviously, Kendall, being the good little German-Scots-Irish Catholic Midwesterner, decided it was better to have the child than to get rid of it in utero.
Paul sat in silence until the waiter left before he inquired, “Are you feeling all right? I can only assume you borrowed someone’s paper and read the story yourself.”
“I did. I’m assuming she didn’t tell you otherwise you would have mentioned this very important information to me especially since you are aware of my condition.”
He glanced at me with guilt-ridden, crystal blue eyes. “I’ve known since June. It was the reason why you found me in the Hamptons on my own. I didn’t know what to do because Kendall informed me of her predicament but she also told me she’d started dating Kool Luc and neither wanted me to be a part of the child’s life.
“I begged, pleaded with her to allow me to at least send child support but she doesn’t want me at the birth. If I am not there then she can’t put me on the birth certificate because we’re not married. I needed to clear my head and at the time I was dating Ashley. If she found out, she wouldn’t have understood and would have made my life a living hell.”
I breathed deeply before I said, “After the Rohypnol incident with Ashley, it still didn’t make any sense for you tell me then? I truly want to know why you are treating me like I will break like shattered glass if you confide any of your secrets to me?”
“Listen, I don’t have a good excuse for not telling you, Jerrica. Maybe I was nervous and scared…this whole ‘incident’ you keep talking about, it’s not the end of the world. I, technically, will have a child but it means nothing if Kendall doesn’t want me to be involved. She’s known Kool Luc for a long time and chances are they will probably get married. That’s why we broke up in the first place. She cheated on me with him.”
“Oh.” I couldn’t think of anything reassuring to say to Paul because part of me was still too pissed off about how he’d known for almost two and half months his ex was expecting his baby but he hadn’t bothered to tell me.
He grabbed my hands and squeezed them gently. “Please don’t let this come between us. If it makes you feel any better, I was just a sperm donor for all the impact I will have on that kid’s life. She wants nothing to do with me and the breakup was extremely painful despite my not being in love with her. I almost feel like she did it on purpose so she could have one white kid and her parents won’t think too badly of her when she marries Kool Luc and they have children together.”
“It’s not that…” I trailed off and looked around the restaurant. “I always feel like we are starting over every time another secret comes out. It would have been so much easier if you’d been honest with me about what ever has happened in your life that is going to have a direct impact on our relationship.”
His crystal blue eyes turned cold and he glared at me with a look on his face that clearly spelled out he was the one who was pissed off now. “Listen, Jerrica, I love you very much but if every time something unsavory pops up about me in the news or gossip starts to fly that makes you uncomfortable then perhaps I am not the one for you. Don’t get me wrong, I love you with all my heart, but you have to understand if I kept anything from you it’s because I honestly thought you were in no position to handle what I would have to say.
“This is hard on me too. I work for one of the most prestigious investment banking firms in the country. Do you think they are going to want this kind of sordid news floating out there about a junior partner? Every time something unsavory happens, I catch hell at work. My parents are extremely disappointed in me and my only saving grace right now is you.”
I slipped my hands out of his and stood up. My mimosa had arrived to the table therefore I drank it down and put the fluted glass back on the table. “I think it’s best if I spent some time apart from you. I’m not breaking up with you because I love you so very much but I need to get my head straight and being around you isn’t going to help the situation. I hope you understand.”
Before he could say a word, I grabbed my purse and strolled out of the restaurant. I walked out of the hotel and the humid, Florida air hit me like a hot fan blowing in my face. I immediately began to sweat and walked toward the nearest taxi waiting for a pick up as something hit me hard in the face. I waved the bug away before it settled on my shoulder and I glanced over to see the biggest roach I’d ever witnessed in my life. It was a real live f*cking Palmetto bug!