A Shameful Consequence(44)

‘Where would you go?’ She glanced up from her dinner, confused by his question. ‘If you could not have coped with Leo?’ Nico asked. ‘If you wanted him adopted.’

‘I’ve never given it a thought.’ She gave a shrug, felt her breathing grow shallow.

‘Please, Constantine, think for me.’

‘Maybe the church …’

‘Or, what if you wanted a baby?’ Nico pushed, and she felt as if fingers were moving around her throat and slowly choking her.

‘To the church,’ she said again.

‘If it had been the church it would be documented. Where would you go …?’ He was talking more to himself than to her, but every word shot through her. He would speak to the doctors, Nico told her, and to the doulas … He would hire another detective. With every thought he inched closer to the unpalatable truth and it wasn’t a question of diverting him. Her heart wanted him to know.

And she would not wait for him to find out. Connie knew what was right now, it must be she that told him.

‘You’ll find out soon.’ She slipped her hand to his and he took it and she meant every last word on her lips. Not now, not here, but this weekend she would choose the moment.

And he took her hand and he held it, and for the first time he thought that maybe she could be his.

That maybe this could work, that his heart might be one worth sharing.





CHAPTER FOURTEEN

LOVE entered his heart and this time he did not reject it, did not consider it impossible, for how could he, now that she was here?

‘I want you.’ He looked at her and he neither extended his words nor qualified them, but it made her heart soar to see love in his eyes, to feel the want shared between them.

They stripped prawns with their fingers, fingers that met in the bowl on the table and entwined for a moment in the tepid water. She removed her hand, because surely it was mad to sit holding hands in water, but as he had pressed the slice of lemon between thumb and finger she had had to swallow a breath, for it felt as if low, low in her stomach and down to her thighs, he was stroking.

The food was divine.

So much she noticed. As she tasted the produce of her island Connie savoured each mouthful, licked the oil from her lips and wished it was him.

‘No dessert menu.’ He made the decision for them.

He could not sit there one moment, could not watch her eat something sticky and sweet, could not watch that tongue lick those lips for even a second longer if it wasn’t on him, and, no, they didn’t want coffee, either.

Thank God he had an account there, so when to not be touching became unbearable, he didn’t have to worry about the bill, could simply take her by the hand and lead her out.

‘I’m trying not to break into a run,’ he said low into her ear as they walked through the restaurant.

He did not kiss her in the car—could not stand to start and have to stop again.

They walked through the arch. The night was warm and the thin wool of her dress felt oppressive now as she climbed the steps. They were both nervous and excited about what lay ahead. She heard the driver move off. Finally it was just them and because he had waited all night, he could wait no more, could not make it to the door without tasting what he had desired. But when he moved to kiss her, when they were alone, her kisses were not as expected. So he kissed her harder, undid the wrap of her dress, as he had wanted to before, and peeled it open and down her shoulders. Then stared at the breasts that had entranced him all night. He lowered his head to them as he slid the dress down her arms.

She felt ridiculous, there by the pool in her pants and bra, but the night air was cool on her bare skin and slowly, with his tender attention, she relaxed just a little. His mouth on her breasts was sublime, and she knew that now she could confide, because Nico was more than a lover, he was her heart.

‘I’m scared it will hurt.’ She felt the flutter of his lashes against her breast and knew he had closed his eyes. His mouth stilled and he lifted his head to hers.

He could have kicked himself, thought of how he had been before, understood now why she had halted him, and he said something he meant.

‘I’d never hurt you,’ Nico said, and he hesitated, for, for a second there, he wasn’t just talking about sex. He never made promises like that, never said things to which he would not adhere, but truly he meant it now.

‘Let’s cool off.’ He gestured to the pool and she laughed as he started to take off his suit.