A Secret Birthright(51)

He hadn’t expected her to jump for joy when he’d mentioned marriage. But he’d thought even if her emotions weren’t involved, that she wanted him, might welcome the idea of marrying him, at least see the benefit to her and to Ryan.

But it seemed nothing worse could have happened to her.

It seemed she’d suspended her grief in her gratitude for him and relief over Ryan’s cure. She’d plunged into sexual intimacies with him, but must have thought she’d been betraying Hesham’s memory, and with his brother of all people. To ameliorate her guilt, she’d been promising herself she’d leave, and he’d never know. She might have thought that by disappearing and putting up with any subsequent hardship to protect her child and Hesham’s, she’d atone for succumbing to her need to feel alive and desired again. It had all been bearable, as long as it remained temporary.

But now she’d found out it would turn permanent. She’d realized that the only way to protect Ryan was to marry him, Hesham’s brother, when she’d been unable to marry Hesham himself. This looked as welcome to her as a dull knife through her heart.

He had to stop her punishing herself, assure her that he wouldn’t be compounding her guilt.

His voice was as dead as he felt inside as he said, “I want you to know that I will never ask anything of you again. This is to give Ryan, and you as his mother, the Aal Zaafer name, what Hesham should have been able to give you, with all the privileges that you’re both entitled to. This is also to give Ryan the father he needs, the only man on earth who’ll love him like a true son.”

He’d thought he’d seen her distraught before. But now, she looked as if her heart were fracturing, as if his every word crushed it.

He knew this pact would sentence him to a lifetime of deprivation, but he had to finish detailing it. “I’ll give you the essmuh. In our culture, this means that you’ll control the marriage. You’d be able to end it, if you so wish, without my consent. I’ll also give you full power of attorney, giving you control of my assets. In case anything happens to me, I’ll make a provision to circumvent our inheritance laws, so you’d inherit everything. If we’re both gone, everything will be Ryan’s. If he’s not of age, anyone you choose would be his guardian until he is. This will make you as powerful as I am, will give my father no way to attack you even if I’m gone. As for our daily life, I’ll be in Ryan’s life however you choose me to be.”

And he was done. Finished. She looked as annihilated.

He watched her sag to the couch, then turned around.

He heard a helicopter.

It was time to make this terrible pact securing Gwen and Ryan forever binding.





“Zawaj’toka nafsi.”

I give you myself in marriage.

Gwen droned the words, her eyes glued to the pristine white handkerchief. Her hand was clasped with Fareed’s beneath it. The cleric had his hand on top of theirs as he recited the Jizaanian marriage vows and prompted their repetition.

Emad and a guard were their witnesses. Rose and Ryan were present, one crying rivers, the other giggling a storm.

Soon the brief ritual was concluded and the cleric documented their marriage. She watched him drawing intricate script that looked as if he was casting spells, in a huge, ancient edition, the royal book of matrimony. Then he invited them to sign their vows and the details of the holy bargain they’d struck.

Fareed looked as if he was signing away his life.

Sinking deeper in misery, she signed, wishing she could sign her own. If only he’d take it, she would have.

One of the female servants let out a zaghrootah, a shrill, festive ululation. Rose—who thought this was all real in spite of the irregular circumstances she was just beginning to understand—was highly intrigued and tried to replicate the sound. Ryan was delighted and did his own ear-piercing imitations. Gwen felt her head might split open at any moment.

Fareed looked as pained at the unbridled mood as sharbaat ward—rose essence nectar—was distributed to those present in celebration of the happy marriage. But he endured it all with a stiff smile. He was the one who’d organized it after all.

She wondered why? It couldn’t be because he was treating this as a real marriage. He’d told her in mutilating detail not to expect anything from him. Except everything she didn’t want, that was. His status, his name, his wealth, in life and death. His heart had never been on offer. His passion, his ease and humor were things of the past. She wouldn’t even have his companionship. She could only expect his presence where Ryan was involved.