A Profiler's Case for Seduction(70)
She now recognized that her mother had been as, if not more, abusive than Buck. Her mother hadn’t hit her or broken any bones, but she’d bound Dora to her and her lifestyle through threats and guile, through manipulation and guilt.
She’d stopped asking herself a long time ago why, when she was young, nobody had stepped in to save her from her father, from her mother or from herself. She knew most of the people in the small town had been afraid of Buck, which made it easy for them to turn blind eyes when Dora showed up with yet another bruise or a broken bone.
She rolled out of bed and headed for the bathroom. Minutes later as she stood beneath a hot spray of water, she thought about the night before and Mark. The questions he’d had to ask her as part of his job hadn’t really surprised her, although she didn’t like the fact that by mere accident of birth she was now on some sheet of paper in the war room of the courthouse.
What had surprised her had been Mark’s gentleness, the compassion she’d seen in the depths of his eyes as they talked about the childhood that should never have been. There had been none of the revulsion she’d expected to see, no judgment of her at all.
Of course, it was easy to feel compassionate for somebody who wasn’t going to be a permanent fixture in your life, she told herself as she got out of the shower and dressed for the day.
He hadn’t run for the hills; rather he’d renewed his desire to spend the homecoming festivities with her. And she wasn’t sure why she’d agreed to the idea.
Because you’re in love with him, a little voice whispered in the back of her head.
She grabbed her computer and purse from the table and headed out the door for her early-morning class.
Her brain rejected the very thought of loving Mark. It would be just another study in heartbreak. It would be a repeat of the heartbreak of Jimmy, and she refused to put herself in a position to care that deeply about a man again.
She was confident in her own strength, in her ability to walk the path of the rest of her life alone. She would never again allow a man to define her.
The morning air was unusually brisk for October in Vengeance. A cold front had moved through that made it perfect football weather. Everywhere she looked were signs of the big game and reminders of the bonfire the next night.
There was a restless energy pulsating, as if even the building and the trees were eagerly anticipating the imminent celebrations of school spirit.
She saw Ben Craig in the distance and waved to him. He waved back as he scurried in the opposite direction of her. Strange, it used to be Dora never saw him without Amanda by his side. The two assistants had been like conjoined twins whenever they were out. But lately Dora rarely saw them together.
As she walked up the stairs into the building where the first class of the day took place, she steadfastly refused to think about what Mark had said about his suspicions of Melinda.
She didn’t know the truth and, thankfully, it wasn’t her job to try to figure it out. She’d leave the investigation to the professionals. There was no way she could guess about Melinda’s innocence or guilt. She could only hope that her sister had nothing to do with her own kidnapping or the murder of the three men. Knowing that there was one sociopath, Samuel, in the family was quite enough.
Throughout her class she stayed focused on the material, refusing to allow her mind to drift in any other direction.
If she continued to pursue her career in criminal justice then maybe sometime years from now she’d find herself working with Mark on a case. By that time she hoped he’d be remarried to a wonderful woman who understood his quirks and foibles, a woman who could chase the darkness away from him when necessary.
He deserved that. He deserved a safe place to fall, next to a warm, loving woman at the end of his long and dark days.
She would never be that woman, but she wanted that for him.
By the time she’d finished her second class of the day, the mood of the campus was already half-mad. Students dressed in Gladiator garb and raced after others who wore jaybird feathers in their hair or pinned to their clothes. Laughter rang out from every corner of the campus and she passed several students who already wore the eau-de-beer scent that would prevail from now until Sunday, when those students awoke with sick stomachs and worse headaches.
She tried not to imagine how different things might have been between her and Mark at the bonfire the next night if the specter of her past wasn’t between them, if he hadn’t learned about her connection to Melinda and if she didn’t know his single goal was to attempt to arrest the sister whom Dora had always looked at as her savior.