A Poison Dark and Drowning (Kingdom on Fire #2)(33)

“And your arm?” I asked. I’d been watching him all day. Movement at the elbow was stiff, and I’d heard him hiss in pain when making a particularly fast parry with a knife.

“I’ll be fine. I always am, after all.” He had to force the lighthearted tone.

“Can you continue with the weapons?” I fidgeted with the bone whistle, still dangling about my neck like some ghastly ornament. “I know today was difficult. Well, hellish, really.”

“I’d rather train than rest, even if it hurts.” He looked up at the darkening sky. “I’m more worried about Mother and the servants than I am my blasted injury. Since the ward’s gone down, I’ve wanted to get them out of the city.”

“Where would they go?”

He shrugged. “That’s the problem. The only places safer than London right now are Sorrow-Fell and the Dombrey Priory. And they’re both so far north, getting everyone there safely would take an army.”

“Maybe they could use the Faerie roads?” I recalled what Mab had said about Whitechurch’s request. “If Mab would agree—”

“I don’t want my mother anywhere near Mab.” His expression hardened, and he paced back behind the tree. Why on earth had I brought her up? I could be such a fool sometimes.

“You never told me what she took from you,” I said. Magnus came back around and leaned his shoulder against the trunk.

“That’s the point, isn’t it?” He laughed bitterly. “I don’t remember. Though maybe it’s a blessing. Happy memories only serve to torment you later.” That didn’t sound like him at all.

“Does your mother know the truth about…?” I couldn’t finish the sentence, but he understood. What Mab had done. Being bitten by a Familiar and nearly dying. Magnus shuddered.

“No. She’d tell me she wants to know, but I can’t put those thoughts into her head.” He sighed and picked up a leaf that was turning bright red on the edges. “That’s a moment, isn’t it? When you start protecting your parents, not the other way around?” He let the leaf flutter to the ground. “Perhaps that’s the moment you become a man.”

“Do you feel like one?”

“Will I ever?” he asked. I knew what he meant. I’d been sure that commendation would bring all the answers, but I found myself still uncertain and scared. Perhaps Whitechurch and the older men went home at night with their stomachs in knots, too, questioning everything they did. What a terrifying thought.

Blackwood came over. “We should be on our way. Eliza will wonder what’s happened,” he said. And Rook. I wanted to see him.

I tied on my cloak in the foyer while Blackwood and Dee collected their coats and hats. Polly gaped while we gathered the swords and scythes from beside the hat rack. I wandered back toward the parlor, adjusting my bonnet, and heard Magnus speaking with his mother.

“I told you, we don’t need more—” Fanny said, but Magnus interrupted.

“You said Mrs. Whist’s cough had got worse. Take it, get whatever medicines the doctor prescribes. Bother the cost.”

“But what about you? Now that you’ve called it off, I mean.”

I should have turned away, but I couldn’t help myself. Called what off?

“Don’t worry about me.”

I glanced up to see him pressing coins into his mother’s hand, and Fanny reluctantly accepting. I pivoted back for the door, embarrassed to have listened.

As we left, Fanny kissed my cheek and asked me to come again. She also pressed a seed cake into Dee’s hands, to his wide-eyed delight. At the gate, Blackwood looked for the carriage while Magnus waited next to me. I knew I should stay out of it, but I couldn’t help myself.

“Is everything all right?” I asked.

Magnus gave me a knowing smile. “Caught us talking, didn’t you?” God, how humiliating. “Don’t worry, it would have been difficult to ignore.” He took off his hat and studied the brim. “I broke my engagement with Miss Winslow.”

My mouth nearly dropped open.

“Oh?” I couldn’t help how my voice rose in surprise. “I’m so sorry.”

“She was going to Ireland to stay out of the line of fire. Very sensible plan. I wrote to tell her not to feel bound by our engagement any longer.”

“Why?”

“My father arranged the whole thing when we were infants. He was the younger son of the family, so there was nothing for me to inherit.” He tapped his fingers against his stave. “I told Miss Winslow that we were too young to marry without love.”

“She must have been devastated.” The poor girl. But Magnus’s mouth twitched in amusement.

“Surprisingly, she wrote back in agreement. Sounded rather relieved, which I can scarcely comprehend. Who wouldn’t want an eternity with my magnificent presence?”

“Would you like the extensive list?”

The carriage arrived just as the first drops of rain began to fall. With a quick stroke of his stave, Magnus parted the rain so that it fell on either side of us. “You agree with me, don’t you? Marriage without love is an abominable fate.”

“I do.” My thoughts turned once more to Rook, and Magnus noticed my blush.

“Then I’m happy for you,” he said softly, and went to help as Blackwood’s carriage arrived.