A Passion for Pleasure(114)

“I thought you’d planned a trip to Asia in the fall.”

“It hasn’t been funded yet, so this one takes precedence. With any luck, we’ll finish the survey before summer’s end and be able to journey directly to the Malay Peninsula.”

Talia’s heart sank at the thought of having to worry about him traveling from Australia to Asia. Every time he left England’s shores, she worked herself into a frenzy thinking he would end up dead, or that he would decide never to come home, or that he would return and announce that he’d married a beautiful princess from some exotic land.

Thus far, saints be praised, none of those lamentable circumstances had occurred, but time was running short for both of them. Even if James returned from this particular expedition whole and hale—a year from now? two years?—Talia could wait no longer.

“Well.” She forced a smile to her lips. “Won’t you need to return to London soon?”

A frown creased his forehead. “The estate manager handles things in my absence.”

“Yes, but he can't be in charge forever, James. Surely you’re expected to carry out your duties and even to…marry soon.”

“There’s a distant cousin somewhere, I’m certain.” James shrugged and picked up a wedge of pound cake. “As long as there’s an heir, the lineage is secure regardless of what happens to me.”

Talia curled her fingers around her shawl, disliking his indifferent view of his own future. She’d often thought of little else in recent years, clinging to the hope that James’s future would inevitably merge with her own.

At twenty-three years of age, she had thus far avoided marriage owing largely to the scandal of her mother’s affair and the subsequent divorce of her parents. While a few men had pursued her during the past two years, she’d found it easier to remain within the circle of her trusted friends rather than venture into society.

But she could not hide much longer. Not if her eldest brother had anything to say about it. Not if James was leaving again. She tightened her grip on the shawl and took a breath.

“Speaking of marriage,” she said, “did you know that Alexander, the big loon, indicated to Lord Fulton that I would be amenable to a marriage proposal?”

She expected James to react with horror—Fulton, after all, was a man twice her age and as rotund as a hogshead. Though Talia had told her brother in no uncertain terms that she would never marry Fulton, she hadn’t confessed that she would never marry anyone except James Forester.

Since girlhood, she had known James would one day be her husband. He just needed her to finally tell him that, since he was clearly too thickheaded to figure it out on his own.

“Fulton, eh?” James frowned, a flash of darkness on his handsome face. “Pity North couldn’t set his sights higher on your behalf.”

“It isn’t his decision, in any case.” Talia set her cup down with a restless movement and walked to the hearth. Her stomach rolled with anxiety as she turned back to face him. “And I’ve set my own sights for marriage much higher.”

“Have you now, poppet?”

“Yes.” She twisted the fringe of her shawl. “My decision is what matters.”

“Indeed.” James reached for the plate of tea cakes yet again.

For heaven’s sake. If she were a tart, he would fall to one knee and declare his undying love.

Talia glanced at the clock. Now. She had to do this now.

“James.”

“Hmm?”

“I…I’ve a confession to make.” She gripped her shawl close to her throat. The heat of the fire filled the air around her. A bead of perspiration rolled down her spine.

“What sort of confession?” James peered at a slice of fruitcake, then exchanged it for a muffin.

“You already know a great deal about me, considering we’ve been friends since childhood.” Talia wiped her brow with the back of her hand. The sound of her heartbeat filled her head. “But there is…there is one thing you do not know about me. One thing you haven’t yet discovered.”

“What might that be, poppet?” James bit into the muffin and glanced at her.

Now.

Talia released her shawl and let it fall to the floor behind her. Hot air cascaded across her already-flushed skin.

“I want to marry you,” she said.

The muffin dropped to the carpet. For one awful moment James just stared at her. All the blood rushed from Talia’s head as she waited with heart-stopping fear for his response.