A Passion for Pleasure(104)

He would not fail her.

He would not fail Andrew.

He would not fail himself.

“You’d best prepare to depart,” he said. “Our train leaves at six.”

She turned to him, her face schooled into an impassivity that did not conceal the grief burning in her eyes.

“There is nothing more we can do,” she said.

Sebastian shook his head, hating the resignation in her voice. “You’re wrong. There is always something more we can do.”

“If not even your father will resist Fairfax, then what hope do we have of any success? And I will not drag you farther into—”

“Stop.” Driven by sudden anger, Sebastian crossed the room to clasp her shoulders. “You are not dragging me into anything, Clara. If I thought you were, I would divorce you. We are in this together. We have been since the moment I accepted your proposal. And we will fix it together.”

She didn’t ask how. Instead she folded herself into his arms and buried her face in his chest. Her arms tightened around his waist. Sebastian pressed his lips to the top of her head. For all his preoccupation with his family—Rushton, Darius, Catherine, Alexander—he’d lost sight of the most basic premise of his marriage to Clara.

She was his family now. Clara and Andrew were his family. His to provide for, to cherish, to protect. He was bound to ensure their happiness. He alone could fight for their safety. He alone could keep them together.

And not even Fairfax could stop him.

The realization broke inside him like a comet racing through a dark sky. He’d spent so many months despairing the loss of his hand, the end of his career, that he hadn’t realized the void was being filled with something so much more fulfilling. An abiding love, a sense of purpose that flared his blood with colors and happiness.

He grasped Clara’s waist, ignored the seizing of his hand, and lowered his head to kiss her. Her soft gasp slipped into his mouth, but her body curved against his as naturally as a leaf bows to a breeze. She parted her lips and smoothed her hands over his jaw and into his hair.

“I love you,” Sebastian whispered against her mouth. “If you will but trust me, I will not fail you.”

Tears slipped down her cheeks, salty against her lips. Sebastian brushed them away with his thumb and lifted his head. Though Clara might be correct that the core of his being remained the same, Sebastian knew he had irrevocably changed, and not solely due to the loss of his hand.

He had changed because of Clara, because she had shown him how to reshape desperation and use it as fuel. Because she, too, knew the black despair of having something taken away, and yet she had never wavered in her efforts to get Andrew back. If she would not waver, then neither would he.

“Your father is still in financial straits,” he said. “And while we cannot rely on Rushton’s help, I’m certain Alexander will give us whatever we need to appease him.”

Clara shook her head. “It isn’t about money, Sebastian. If it was, Fairfax would have made an explicit demand when we spoke with him about Wakefield House. I’m certain he would take whatever you offered, but I fear nothing will make him relinquish custody of Andrew.”

“Yet it also isn’t a question of Fairfax wanting to raise Andrew himself, is it? If it were, he wouldn’t send the boy away for medical care. I don’t imagine he would stay with Andrew in Switzerland, do you?”

“No.” Clara bit her bottom lip. “He never thought Andrew would amount to anything, Sebastian.”

So what else was there? Sebastian had the nagging sense that they were missing something important, and yet he had no idea what it was. On the surface, Fairfax was a grandfather committed to retaining custody of his grandson and putting him under the care of a physician.

Maybe the answer lay with the physician and the institution…if Fairfax chose not to stay with Andrew, which seemed likely, then Sebastian and Clara might have a chance to see the boy while he was under medical care. Fairfax would probably make arrangements to bar them from the institution as well, but money could work to unlock those doors.

And Sebastian would tell Alexander everything that had happened, if it would mean his brother’s financial support. Alexander would be furious over the revelations about Catherine Leskovna and might very well renounce both Darius and Sebastian for having associated with her again, but he would help give Clara the opportunity to see her son.

“I have an idea.” Sebastian gripped Clara’s shoulders, felt hope flow through him in a wave of sky blue. “Will you trust me?”