A Nantucket Wedding(70)
“Backpacks!” Felicity reminded her children.
It amused her, and comforted her, to see how readily Alice and Luke did what she told them. They couldn’t wait to get to camp. They flew to the car and snapped on their seatbelts and jabbered with each other during the ride to the small farm with its barn and pond and tree houses. Four teenage girls and boys were waiting at the gated driveway to collect the children. Alice and Luke yelled, “Bye, Mom!” and exploded out of the SUV and into the campground.
Felicity drove away slowly, her mind stirring with thoughts like a sleeping animal waking. The counselors had been so genuinely happy to see the children. True, the counselors were young and energetic and it was fun to be outdoors on a great summer day. But it was more than that. The teens’ faces had brightened when they saw the children, they reached out to hug them, to hear Alice and Luke jabber away. They liked working with children.
When Felicity saw the sign for Walden Pond, she turned and drove down the forested two-lane road. She parked in the lot, pleased to see that it was still half empty, crossed the street, and walked down to the pond. On the beach, several families were swimming, and two women marched along the trail on the far side of the pond.
Felicity found the trailhead and began walking. She’d been here before, with her children or with friends, but today she was alone, and she was glad. Somehow all this natural space around her gave her thoughts space to roam free.
She’d cried herself to sleep last night, and her heart was heavy today. Noah had thrown down a powerful ultimatum—he would fire Ingrid if Felicity would break with her family. It made sense to her, she thought it would make sense to anyone, that Noah should fire Ingrid because Ingrid was a risk to his marriage. But how in the world could Felicity’s family be a risk to her marriage to Noah?
Well, she thought, as she brushed a willow branch away from her face, Noah had been furious last night about the kind of money David had. Maybe that was it.
Okay, Felicity said to herself, following her thoughts as they led her along an unknown path. Noah was worried about money. Always. His first and most continuous stressor was the future of his company. He was working hard, she knew that, and he wanted to make his business a success not only for financial reasons, but of course money was part of it.
His second largest stressor was personal money. Money for the house, for clothes for the children, vacations for the children, never mind vacations for him. Did it hurt his pride that David Gladstone could provide such a luxurious vacation for Felicity and Noah and their children when Noah couldn’t possibly afford a night for his family on that island?
Keep thinking, she told herself. You’re getting somewhere.
She stepped over a fallen log. Noah was so proud of their house because from the outside it looked elegant, pricey. But only Felicity knew how they had to cut corners with their money when it came to eating out, repairing the air-conditioning, taking the children to water parks like the Great Wolf Lodge.
Their money.
Could she help financially? In September both children would be in school all day, Alice in second grade, Luke in first. She would have enough time freed up for at least a part-time job…but what could she do? She’d majored in education and psychology in college, but after she met Noah, she cared about nothing in the world besides being with him. When she got pregnant just before graduation, Noah had been as delighted as Felicity. She was certain of that. Noah had been full of ambition and hope for his business, and having a wife to take care of the routine matters of life—buying groceries, cooking, doing laundry—that had seemed absolutely right to him.
But now? Now, seven years after graduation, Felicity had her degree in education, but no state preschool teaching certificate.
But she knew how to get one. She knew where to find the information she needed to bone up on to take the examination. She had friends who would help her.
She had friends who would hire her. Preschools always needed teachers.
Did she want to work in a preschool? Felicity tried to return to her mindset in the early days of her college career, when she was still young and free and could choose whatever route her heart desired. Her father had paid for her education, she’d lived in a dorm or at home, she had no pressing debts and all the world was before her. She could have majored in English because she loved reading, or in social work because she loved people, but she had instinctively gone for education, because she loved children, the younger, the better. She’d made money during the summer as an aide in a local preschool, and she’d loved every minute of it. Sitting in a circle with the children, teaching them songs, or marshaling them into lines to go out for a field trip, seeing their faces when they were allowed to hold a frog in their hands…
Felicity realized she was walking faster and faster, almost running, and when she tripped over another log, she forced herself to slow down.
Be honest, she told herself. Any money you make teaching preschool is hardly going to help Noah with the cost of running the house and our lives.
But, she argued with herself, it would be some money. And it would show Noah she was on his side, trying to help.
When he came home tonight, she would ask him about her idea. In the meantime, she couldn’t wait to get home to her laptop. She was sure there was a preschool near the children’s elementary school. How cool would that be?
* * *