A Mother's Homecoming(65)
Hazy sunlight was starting to filter through the windows. The rain had stopped, and the night was over.
FOR TWO AFTERNOONS in a row, Pam and Faith worked on basic chords. The second afternoon, Faith asked if she could sing one of her original compositions, but she lost her nerve at the last minute.
“Don’t worry about it,” Pam said. “Maybe next time. Tell you what, I have to go hammer some decorative molding back into place. You want to practice by yourself for a little while?”
“That would be great.” Faith looked a bit relieved to have time alone to go over what she’d learned. It was difficult to improve when you didn’t have your own guitar to practice on; Pam wondered if Nick would be able to hold out until Christmas.
Faith had thought the building-up-calluses part sounded gross, but other than that, she seemed like a natural.
On Sunday, Pam and Faith decided to forego music lessons in favor of dress shopping. Pam had hoped to get a head start on it the day before—with the big dance coming the following Saturday, they were cutting it close—but the salon had been packed from open to closing. Dawn hadn’t been kidding about all the alumni in town getting ready for various events this week. Nick, as a former Mimosa High football star, was planning to take Faith to the big game Friday night and they’d asked Pam to join them.
While Pam drove her daughter to the closest mall, about twenty minutes out of town, Faith implored her to talk to Nick.
“He’s making me nuts kidding around about signing up to chaperone the dance,” Faith said. “At least I hope he’s kidding. That’s the problem. He might be serious! You have to do something. Keep him busy that night.”
“Excuse me?”
“Take him bowling, see a movie. Whatever people your age do,” Faith said.
“People my age?” Pam pulled a face. “Word of advice, kid. If you’re trying to get a woman to do you a favor, don’t make her feel like she’s older than dirt.”
“Oh, I didn’t mean that. You guys are both way younger than most of my friends’ parents. I just meant, Dad’s never really dated very much, so I’m not sure what exactly he’d do on one.”
If Nick hadn’t dated, it had to have been his choice. He was a gorgeous, successful guy with broad shoulders to lean on and a wicked sense of humor. Or had his dating been curtailed because of Faith? Maybe he’d worried how she would handle the idea or he’d simply been too busy as a single parent. Or were women resistant to the idea of being with a man who came with a ready-made family?
Pam felt herself getting indignant on his behalf. Any woman would be lucky to have Nick and Faith! They … She stopped, wincing at the irony and trying not to lose her breath at the realization of all she’d sacrificed. Today was her first mother-daughter outing with Faith. If Pam hadn’t run twelve years ago, she would have driven her to school and dentist appointments and maybe music lessons. It was a sure bet that, hearing her daughter’s voice, she would have encouraged her to develop that talent.
The thought gave her pause … because she actually believed it. She’d left because she hadn’t loved her own child, but whatever the past had held, Pam knew she could love her now. It was far easier to imagine herself cheering her daughter on than it was to picture herself belittling her or lashing out at her.
“How old were you when I was born?” Faith asked suddenly.
“Uh … How about we listen to some music?” Pam didn’t know how to handle the topic of her and Nick’s romantic history. On the one hand, she was tempted to use her teen pregnancy as a teachable moment, demonstrating why the only real way to be careful was to wait. Then again, she didn’t want to make it sound like anyone regretted Faith’s existence.
“All right.” Faith shot her a knowing look, but turned on the radio. Before long, they were singing together, naturally harmonizing. Pam actually stopped at one point, just to enjoy the way her daughter was belting out the lyrics.
She’s better than I was. Unpolished, sure, but gifted. But Faith hadn’t let that single gift define her. She was a well-rounded girl with varied interests and countless possibilities for the future. Again, Pam thought to herself what a good job Nick had done as a parent. Of course, he’d told her how much Leigh and his mother had helped over the years. Crap. Next time I see Gwendolyn, I’m going to have to be nice to her.
At the first store, Pam steered Faith away from a rack of dresses that, while technically the right size, were completely inappropriate for her age. “Not those.”