A Mess of a Man (Cruel & Beautiful #2)(75)

“You okay?”

“Mmm. I’m not sure. I went to the doctor today. Tell me something, do you like your boobs?”

She laughs. “You mean my new boobs?”

“Yeah. New and improved boobs.”

“I really do. I can’t tell the difference at all, except for the scars under the nipples and the lack of sensation, but that’s insignificant. The only thing that bothers me is that I won’t be able to breastfeed when I have kids. But it beats dying, you know?”

“Yeah. It does.”

“You still trying to decide?”

“I just …” I hesitate for a second.

“Tell me you’re not serious. You carry that f*cking gene, Sam. You don’t have a choice.”

“I know.” In a small voice, I add, “What will Ben say?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, he loves my boobs.”

“If he cares anything at all about you, he’ll support you in this. And he’ll love your new boobs. Just talk to him,” she urges.

I bite my lip, thinking about her words long after the conversation has ended. Work consumes me again and after I get home, I’m changing my clothes when my phone buzzes with a text.

Ben: Can you come over?

Me: You ok?

Ben: Yeah. Just miss you. Got home early for a change.

Me: Sure. On my way.

Traffic isn’t too bad, and he’s waiting at the door when I get there. He pulls me inside and kisses me like it’s the last day for the earth to exist.

“Miss me, huh?”

Steel gray eyes meet mine and I’m unsure what I see. “You have no idea. I left with a series of requests for meetings and more meetings. But I needed a f*cking break. I need you.”

Bunching up my tank top he pushes it out of the way while his mouth takes over mine, making me senseless for him. He cups my breasts with his hands, using his thumbs to flick my nipples through the fabric of my bra. Soon, he pushes it up and over my breasts so I’m exposed for him.

His reverent hands make it impossible to think. Only his next words spike straight to my gut.

“You have the most perfect tits I’ve ever seen or sucked. God, I love these.” And my stomach spirals straight to the floor, crashing at my feet.





How can I be so f*cking lucky? “Most women have to buy what you have. And I hate fake tits. Why ruin what is naturally created? You can’t recreate how they feel. Don’t get me wrong, they look great, but they don’t feel the same at all.”

Something about her silence tells me to stop. “What’s wrong?”

She pales and glances away. I tuck a finger under her chin to get her to look at me.

“What’s going on?” I try again.

“Nothing.”

She scrambles to her feet and puts distance between us. I mentally run down what I’ve said and I don’t get it. Finally, she faces me and I’m pretty sure what I see is fear in her eyes.

“So if I didn’t have these,” she glances down at her amazing breasts, framing them with her hands, “you wouldn’t want me?”

It’s obvious I’m clueless when it comes to women, but I can swear I’ve done nothing wrong. So I make my move and stand before her again.

I cup her and squeeze gently. “You have spectacular breasts that money can’t buy, more than a handful. You must be a C, probably a D.”

She shrugs. “Large C, small D. But you didn’t answer my question.”

Okay, maybe she’s hormonal. I know better than to ask. Instead, I give her the truth and hope I find the right words and don’t f*ck this up.

“I love them. I’ll admit when I saw you, it was your legs and the side view of your tits that caught my eye. It may sound shallow, but it’s true. However, it isn’t your beauty that keeps me here. Hell, I’ve had many beautiful women in my life and none of them captured my attention like you have.”

I stop because I have the shits of the mouth. Drew told me I would fall one day and I’d be begging some woman to see the good in me. And here I am. All I have is honesty, so I give it to her.

“You’ve seen Karen. She’s something to look at, yet her attractiveness is buried under all of her conniving ways.”

“She’s prettier than me.”

Something’s off. Sam isn’t vain, but she doesn’t have low self-esteem either.

“She has nothing on you, baby.” I place my hands on her arms and stare in her hazel eyes. “You’ve got it all. And she doesn’t. Whatever she’s got going on will fade one day and the only thing left will be spite.”

I search her eyes hoping she’ll see the truth in what I have to say. “That and rubbery tits.” I laugh at my own joke. “She wasn’t even that small to begin with. I think a B, she said. She didn’t feel like she could compete. And now she can’t. You are perfect just as you are. And when you get older, you won’t look like a clown. I bet your breasts will still be amazing, just like you.”

Her smile is still mysteriously missing. Her arms are crossed over her chest like she’s hiding from me. What the f*ck am I doing wrong?

“What really happened between you and Karen anyway?”

Thankfully, I manage to hold in a groan. All thoughts of sex have fled the building. I’m still up for her in more ways than one. But she doesn’t look anywhere near ready for me to touch her. I turn for the couch and sit down. I’ve done this to myself, bringing Karen up. Talking about her and the reasons I’m not with her isn’t going to help whatever is going on.