A Mess of a Man (Cruel & Beautiful #2)(30)

I try to think of a happier time. I practically spent my high school years on this island. I’ve never brought a woman out here since. So why now? Why her? I shrug off the thought not wanting to analyze why I’m different with her. Or why that thought scares the hell out of me. What was that saying? Once shame on her, twice shame on me. No way do I want to fall in love again and find out what happens a third time.

I slow the boat to a stop so I can find a place to drop anchor. The tide is high, so it’s perfect timing and my luck holds when the anchor gets a good catch on my first toss.

The sun is setting, so I pour two glasses of wine and head to where Samantha’s draped over the seat.

“Wine?”

Hidden behind blackened shades, I have no idea if her eyes are closed or open. She sits up.

“Thank you.”

I’m not sure how to do the no sex thing with a woman outside of Cate, but that’s what I promised her for tonight. The women I’ve dealt with have been as eager as I was to skip the formalities. And right now, I want to take fistfuls of her hair and devour her mouth. But by our guidelines for this date, I’m not allowed to touch her. So, I fold myself in the seat next to her and shift so the wood in my pants doesn’t pierce the fabric.

“It’s beautiful out here.”

It’s true, but the view of the woman before me has stolen all my attention.

“It is.”

Letting the wine slowly pour down my throat, I watch her out of the corner of my eye.

I feel collared because I can’t touch her and that irritates the hell out of me. But, I have no one but myself to blame. I shouldn’t have taken the bait from her dare and asked her out here. My boat? What the hell, Ben. Did you really think you wouldn’t want her bent over the rails screaming your name while you pound her from behind? I turn away from the line of her exposed throat wanting to scrape my teeth down it to her breasts. I lick my lips and change the topic to business.

“I want you to know I didn’t get you the job at my firm. I had no idea they were planning an event. So you earned that spot on your own.”

The easygoing curve of her lips taunts me.

“I gathered by your reaction to me showing up at your office. But it’s nice to know.”

“You’ve made a name for yourself. That’s got to make you proud.”

Her smile turns up. “It’s been a hard road, taking on clients that were hard to please, but it’s paid off.”

“It takes a lot of courage to start your own business from scratch. I envy you.”

“You work for your family’s firm. There’s pride in that.”

I swallow some more wine, not sure why I got on this subject. The idea that I’ve crawled back home to work at my dad’s company still bothers me.

“Yeah, I guess.”

She turns to face me. “There’s a story there. Are you one of those guys that got roped into the family business but you’d rather be a starving artist?”

The chuckle that comes out is a surprise. “Not exactly. I wanted to be my own man and not sit in my father’s shadow. But I couldn’t stay in New York. The city pace was too fast for me and no one cares they have to step over the homeless to get to work.” I hold back one of the biggest reasons—I came home because of Drew’s illness.

“That doesn’t seem fair. I’m sure lots of people care.”

I nod. “You’re right. It just feels that way. I guess I’m just a small town boy who wants to know the people you run into on the sidewalk.”

“No, I get it. New York wouldn’t be for me either. I mean, I love to visit. It’s a fascinating place, but like you, I’d miss home too much to move.”

“So you never dreamed of leaving Charleston for somewhere else?”

She shrugs. “I don’t know. I’ve dreamed of lots of things. But I enjoy my life here and being close to family.”

The horizon changes colors from a dusky rose to navy blue. The moment is right and I feel like if I kissed her right now she would let me. Her eyes find mine. Everything is silent except the water lapping at the boat.

“Ben.”

She says my name like a prayer and I turn to face her.

“It’s okay if you want to kiss me.”

My eyes involuntarily drop to her lips before I close them. Hadn’t I wanted that?

“I don’t think kissing you is the right thing to do.” I force the words out in a broken whisper.

Her response is just as soft and a longing as old as time fills the space between us.

“Why?”

There are a million and one reasons if I were honest. Barely controlled, I’m on the precipice of taking everything I want. I’ve already failed her little test and she doesn’t know it yet. I very much want this night to end in sweaty sex.

“Because if I kiss you, I’m not going to want to stop. And we’ve established you’re not that kind of girl.”

Her slender hand reaches up as if she plans to touch me and I capture it.

“Samantha, this was a bad idea on my part. I can’t give you what you’re looking for. I’m not going to be satisfied with just kissing you.” I have to fight myself with fisted hands, which proves I’m capable of some control. “And if you let me have you in any way, that’s as far as it will ever go. I’m not looking for a girlfriend or a white picket fence with a bunch of mini me’s. You deserve better.”