A Meet of Tribes (A Shade of Vampire #45)(11)

“You’ve never been in love?” I asked, even as I reprimanded myself for such brazen curiosity.

What am I trying to get out of him?

Bijarki tilted his head and leaned against the back of his chair, while his expression sent heatwaves in my direction.

I gripped my coffee cup and sipped quietly, unable to break eye contact. Whatever I was getting myself into with these questions, a part of me—a much bigger part of me than I wanted to admit—was very curious to find out where it would lead.

“I’ve never been in love, no,” came his response.

I measured my breath and nodded in return, out of words and thankfully out of intimate questions to ask.

“But then again, up until a few days ago I didn’t even consider the concept,” Bijarki continued, prompting me to pay more attention to his elusive body language. His slow and deliberate movements were telling me something new. “I’ve never met anyone I could consider capable of stirring me in any way, until I laid my eyes on you.”

My heart started racing again, and my fingers fiddled with the cup’s delicate porcelain handle. I needed something menial to do just to keep myself together.

“You see, you fascinate me, Vita. You’re a creature of contrasts, and I’m having a hard time figuring you out. That's never happened to me before. I usually look at people, and I can immediately tell what they are, what they would do in certain situations, and how I feel about them. But you? You stun me.”

His words rolled out without inhibitions and crashed into me. I lowered my gaze and felt the heat rising into my throat and spreading to my cheeks. I felt naked, completely powerless before him, and yet I wanted to hear more. I needed to hear him say all those things because they all confirmed something that had been eluding definition in my mind for a while.

“I am attracted to you, yes,” he said. “Despite the tragic circumstances, I can’t seem to get you out of my head. Last night, the succubi wanted me. They lingered around me as we feasted around the campfire.”

My heart twisted in knots at the thought of succubi seducing him, and I looked up. I got lost in his eyes, two pools of silver that flickered with distant lights, telling me a little bit more than his words.

“But I turned them all down. I couldn’t get you out of my mind, not even for a second, not even with all those gorgeous creatures offering me their bodies to satisfy everything that has been burning inside of me lately. You have my full attention, young fire fae.”

I was speechless, my mind blank, my fingers trembling on the cup’s handle. My body softened from the heat of his unexpected candor. My breath stopped, and I found myself unable to take my eyes off him.

He sat up straight and added another pancake to his plate, eating as if nothing had happened, as if he’d just told me the weather conditions for tomorrow or something equally as trivial.

I was baffled as I combed through his statement and broke it down in my head phrase by phrase. It seemed like a confession of sorts. His words resonated deeply inside of me, and I had to figure out how I felt about that. I’d already accepted the fact that I was attracted to him. I just didn’t expect him to genuinely feel the same way. What was I supposed to do with this new information?

He broke through my thoughts. “That being said, I am also aware that you’re not immune to my incubus nature, and I swear to you, on everything I hold dear, that I am doing my best to keep my powers under control whenever I’m around you. If you ever come to me, it will be of your own accord, not my influence. I’ve promised to keep my distance from you, as you’ve asked. And I can assure you that my intentions are good. But you can’t ask me to turn off what I feel, because I can’t. I want you. And that won’t change.”

I was stunned. A bright fire blazed inside me, ignited by a flicker of lust. His effect over me was undeniable. I’d frequently doubted it to be genuine, choosing to blame it on his incubus nature.

Yet now he was telling me that he’d been keeping himself under control around me, leaving me to conclude once more and with even more certainty that everything I’d been feeling toward him was of my own making, something I could no longer deny or control.

I needed a few deep breaths to gather enough sense to respond to his statement.

He’d been so kind, so open and respectful, and I’d been acting like a damsel made of ice, loaded with biting remarks, and unable to admit that everything I was feeling about him was real.

“We’re in this mess together, all of us,” I replied, my voice barely a whisper. “We need to get along in order for this alliance to work, in order for us to defeat Azazel. You keeping your distance from me seems counter-productive at this point in time, and I see no need for it. You’ve been nothing but good and decent toward me. I have no reason to push you away.”

His expression changed, softening into something I didn’t quite recognize. I wondered if it was because it came from an incubus who had been trained for war, not feelings. He nodded in response, and I saw him relax in his chair. He smiled. His eyes darted around the room and occasionally settled on me.

I finished my meal in silence, while my body deliciously ached in his presence.

But exhaustion soon claimed me, and I excused myself. I’d deal with my reaction to Bijarki later.

I fell asleep next to Aida, my bones heavy while my heart fluttered in my chest.