A Hunger for the Forbidden(62)

Alessandro paused for a moment. “You aren’t dying, are you?”

“It feels like it. But I think it will pass.” It had to. “I don’t want to carry things on like Carlo and Benito did, and I don’t just mean the criminal activity. If we have a problem, I say we just punch each other in the face and get it over with, rather than creating a multi-generational feud.”

“That works for me.”

“Good. See you at the next meeting.” He hung up. It wasn’t like he needed to hug it out with his cousin or anything, but he was ready to start putting things behind him. To stop shielding himself from the past and embrace the future.

A future that would include Alessia.

Alessia looked up when the Ferrari roared back onto the grounds. She was standing in the garden, doing her best to at least enjoy the waning sunlight. It was better than the whole dissolving-into-never-ending-tears bit.

Matteo left the car in the middle of the drive and strode into the yard, his eyes fixed on hers. When he reached her, he pulled her into his arms, his expression fierce. Then he lowered his head and kissed her. Long. Deep. Intense.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back, her face wet, tasting salt from tears. She didn’t know whose. She didn’t care.

She didn’t want to ask questions now, she just wanted to live in this moment. When they parted, Matteo buried his face in her neck and held her tight. And she held him, too. Neither of them moved, neither of them spoke.

Emotion swelled in her chest, so big she wasn’t sure she could stand it. Wasn’t sure she could breathe around it.

“I love you,” he said. “I have never said it before, Alessia. Not to anyone. Not to a woman, not to family. So when I say it, I mean it. With everything I have, such as it is. I love you.”

A sob broke through her lips and she tightened her hold on him. “I love you, too.”

“Still?”

“Always.”

“You were right. I was afraid. I’m still afraid. But I can’t hide anymore. You made it impossible. I want to be the man worthy of that look you used to give me. I want to be everything for you, I don’t just want to take from you. I was content to just take that light you carry around in you, Alessia. To let it warm me. But you deserve more than that. So I’ll be more than that. I’m not everything I should be. I’m broken. I’ve done things that were wrong. I’ve seen things no man should have to see. But I will give you everything that I have to give, and then I’ll reach deep and find more, because you’re right, you deserve it all. And I want you, so that means I have to figure out a way to be it all.”

“Matteo, no, you don’t. You just have to meet me in the middle. And love will cover our shortcomings.”

“Just meet you in the middle?”

“Mainly, I just need you to love me.”

“That I can do, Alessia Corretti. I’ve been doing it for most of my life.”

“You might not believe this, Matteo, but as you are, you’re my knight in shining armor. You are flawed. You’ve been through unimaginable things, and you love anyway. You’re so strong, so brave, so utterly perfect. Well, not perfect, but perfect for me. You’re the only man I’ve ever wanted, the only man I’ve ever loved. And that will never change.”

“How is it that you see me, all of me, and love me, anyway?”

“That’s what love is. And you know what? It’s not hard to love you. You’re brave, honorable. You were willing to cut off any chance at having your own happiness to try to protect the people around you. To try to do right. You’re the most incredible man I’ve ever known.”

“Quite the compliment coming from the most amazing woman. Your bravery, your willingness to love, in spite of all you’ve been through, that’s what pulled me out of the darkness. Your light won. Your love won.”

“I’m so glad it did.”

He put his hand on Alessia’s stomach. “This is what I want. You, me, our baby. I was too afraid before to admit how much I wanted it. Too afraid I didn’t deserve it, that I would lose it. I’m still afraid I don’t deserve it, but I want it so much.” He leaned in and kissed her lips. “I’m not cold anymore.”

“Never again,” she said.

He wrapped his arms tight around her and spun them both in a circle. She laughed, and so did he. Genuine. Happy. Joy bloomed inside of her. Joy like she’d never felt before. Real, true. And for her. Not to keep those around her smiling.