A Hunger for the Forbidden(27)

Of course, there was no point in hiding her pregnancy. She’d announced it on television, for heaven’s sake. But even so, since she hadn’t really dealt with it yet, she felt nervous about sharing it with the public like this.

She put her hand on her stomach, smoothing her palm over the small bump. She was going to be a mother. Such a frightening, amazing thing to realize. She’d been tangled up in finding Matteo, and then in the days since—had it really only been days?—she’d been dealing with having him back in her life. With marrying him. She hadn’t had a chance to really think of the baby in concrete terms.

Alessia looked at herself in the mirror one more time, at her stomach, and then back at her face. Her looks had never mattered very much to her. She was comfortable with them, more or less. She was taller than almost every other woman she knew, and a good portion of the men, at an Amazonian six feet, but Matteo was taller.

He managed to make her feel small. Feminine. Beautiful.

That night they were together he’d made her feel especially beautiful. And then last night he’d made her feel especially undesirable. Funny how that worked.

She turned away from the mirror and walked out of the bedroom. Matteo was standing in the hall waiting for her, looking so handsome in his black suit she went a little weak-kneed. He was a man who had a strong effect, that was for sure.

“Don’t you clean up nice,” she said. “You almost look civilized.”

“Appearances can be deceiving,” he said.

“The devil wore Armani?”

“Something like that.” He held his hand out and she hesitated for a moment before taking it and allowing him to lead her down the curved staircase and into the foyer. He opened the door for her, his actions that of a perfectly solicitous husband.

Matteo’s sports car was waiting for them, the keys in the ignition.

Alessia waited until they were on the road before speaking again. “So, what’s the charity?”

He shifted gears, his shoulders bunched up, muscles tense. “It’s one of mine.”

“You have charities?”

“Yes.”

“I didn’t realize.”

“I thought you knew me.”

“We’re filled with surprises for each other, aren’t we? It’s a good thing we have a whole lifetime together to look forward to,” she said drily.

“Yes,” he said, his voice rough, unconvincing.

And she was reminded of their earlier conversation in the dining room. She’d asked him point-blank if he would be faithful, and he’d sidestepped her. She had a feeling he was doing it again.

She gritted her teeth to keep from saying anything more. To keep from asking him anything, or pressing the issue. She had some pride. She did. She was sure she did, and she was going to do everything she could to hold on to her last little bit of it.

“Well, what is your charity for, then?”

“This is an education fund. For the schools here.”

“That’s … great,” she said. “I didn’t get to do any higher education.”

“Did you want to?”

“I don’t know. I don’t think so. I mean … I didn’t really have anything I wanted to be when I grew up.”

“Nothing?”

“There weren’t a lot of options on the table. Though I did always think I would like to be a mother.” A wife and a mother. That she would like to have someone who loved her, cherished her like the men in her much-loved books cherished their heroines. It was a small dream, one that should have been somewhat manageable.

Instead, she’d gone off and traded it in for a night of wild sex.

And darn it, she still didn’t regret it. Mainly. “Mission accomplished.”

“Why, yes, Matteo, I am, as they say, living the dream.”

“There’s no need to be—”

“There is every need to be,” she said. “Don’t act like I should thank you for any of this.”

“I wasn’t going to,” he said, his tone biting.

“You were headed there. This is not my dream.” But it was close. So close that it hurt worse in some ways than not getting anywhere near it at all. Because this was proving that her dream didn’t exist. That it wasn’t possible.

“My apologies, cara, for not being your dream.” His voice was rough, angry, and she wanted to know where he got off being mad after the way he’d been treating her.