A Headstrong Woman(99)

“Jonathon… I…my sister…”

“Is my friend; no more and she knows that.”

“I can’t marry you,” she said weakly.

“Why not, you were prepared to marry a stranger?”

“But…but…”

“Yes?”

“This is crazy!”

“Oh your idea was real bright,” he reminded her. Alexandria frowned at him. “Alexandria, I care a great deal about you how could I not after all we’ve been through together? If you can’t have love why not friendship?” he offered as he squatted in front of her chair. “I find you attractive, I think I’ve made that clear,” he continued and watched her eyes close. “And judging by your reaction to my kiss I would say you’re not completely repulsed by me.” Alexandria’s eyes flew open at that. “What do you say?”

“Jonathon…”

“Yes, Alexandria?” he asked softly.

Alexandria met his gaze; confusion was warring within her. As she held Jonathon’s gaze she noticed for the first time that the edges of his eyes were darker than the middles.

Slowly she nodded, “Okay,” her voice was barely audible.

Jonathon visibly relaxed. “Thank you; when?”

“It doesn’t matter,” she answered.

“How about a week from tomorrow? That gives us a little time to plan and adjust,” he offered.

She nodded.

“It’s going to be okay,” Jonathon reassured her as he stood.

Alexandria stood and moved around the desk to see him out. Jonathon turned and looked down into Alexandria’s upturned face.

“Why didn’t you just come to me in the first place, Alexandria?” he asked.

Alexandria was surprised to see hurt etched into his features. “I depend on you so much, Jonathon. I didn’t want to bother you with another of my problems,” her eyes were trained on her boots. She hadn’t wanted to, but she was.

Jonathon placed a finger under her chin and forced her gaze to meet his.

“You don’t bother me, Alexandria,” he assured her. He watched tears spill down her cheeks and leaned over to press a light kiss to her temple, then cheek, and finally her lips. He released her and gently shut the door behind him. Alexandria pressed her fingers to her lips. What had she just agreed to?



***



Alexandria looked at the calendar and tucked Jonathon’s birthday gift into her pocket. She still couldn’t fully comprehend the events of the day before and had spent an hour laboring over her journal entry, trying to accurately capture what she was thinking and feeling. She arrived in the kitchen to find Jonathon speaking with Anna. The conversation halted when she entered.

“Good morning,” she greeted.

“Hi, I’m headed for town,” Jonathon informed her. “It looks like it might get messy later, why don’t you rest today and enjoy your sister and daughter’s company,” he suggested.

Alexandria considered it and nodded.

“I have a gift for you,” she informed him.

Jonathon smiled; he was touched that she had remembered his birthday. “Hang onto it until I get back, I really need to get going if I want any hope of beating this weather,” he told her as he grabbed his hat and started for the door.

“Okay, I’ll see you when you get back,” she agreed as she followed him onto the porch. Alexandria couldn’t have explained how she was feeling if her very life had depended on it, as her journal entry had proven. She was nervous and at the same time an undercurrent of expectation seemed to run through her. It was because of the uncertainty of her situation, she told herself. Why did she feel the need to be close to Jonathon today, to have him reassure her? She was put out with herself, and had no idea what to do about it.

“You okay?” Jonathon sensed the uncertainty she was feeling.

“I don’t know,” she admitted.

Jonathon, his thumb lightly caressing her jaw line, cupped her face with his hand. “It’s going to be okay, Alexandria, whatever happens; it’s going to be okay. Do you trust me?” he asked her and watched her nod. “I’m going to take care of you,” he promised.

“Why?’ she wanted to scream, instead she stepped closer to him; fear and uncertainty coursed through her. Something deeper and more disturbing lay buried beneath everything else she was feeling but Alexandria was afraid to probe too deeply, afraid of losing the fragile thread of control she had on her emotions.