A Headstrong Woman(77)
***
Despite her fears that she wouldn’t be able to sleep, Alexandria was barely able to hold her eyes open to unpack. She opened her trunk and frowned. The things inside weren’t hers! Thinking she might find a clue as to whose things she had, she laid aside the top layer and found her own things underneath with a note on top.
Alexandria,
I hope that you like these, I saw you eyeing the new clothes longingly when you toured the store. Please wear them when you feel comfortable doing so and know that we love you.
Janice Morris
Alexandria smiled at the gesture and put her things away, she knew it would be a long while before she would be comfortable wearing them. At least she believed it would.
***
Alexandria was glad to be back on the range and familiar territory the next day after the strain of the past few. She was more comfortable among her men than she was among most women. The men smiled and greeted her warmly.
“Hey, Alex, what’s this I hear about you visiting a brothel?” Ben teased her.
Alexandria felt her cheeks color.
“Alright, who’s been talking?” she looked between Jonathon and Rusty. Rusty was grinning. “Funny,” she smiled despite herself. “Anyone else want make fun of my naivety?”
Ben had the good grace to look guilty.
She looked over to find Sparky watching her. He dropped his gaze when she met his. She settled back in fairly easily and enjoyed the familiarity of the routine.
That night after Anna, Lilly, and Millie were in bed Alexandria found herself restless and not ready for sleep. She slipped out onto the downstairs back porch and breathed deeply of the night air.
“What are you doing out here?” Jonathon asked as he crossed the yard.
Alexandria smiled and shrugged, “I wasn’t ready for bed.”
“Me either,” he leaned against the porch railing. “I should be, but I found myself so restless I was afraid I’d wake the others.”
“Know what you mean,” she agreed as she watched him seat himself on the railing; his long legs stretched toward the other end. She moved to the post opposite him at the corner of the porch and copied his pose; her booted feet came within an inch of touching his.
“This is comfortable,” she gazed up at the stars that she had been unable to see from the rockers on the porch.
“So what drove you out here, Alexandria?”
Alexandria smiled at him in the pale moonlight, “Too much thinking.”
“Ahh, thinking, a dangerous past time you know?” he teased her.
“So I’m finding out. I was startled to realize that I was more comfortable on the range today with a group of men than I have been with other women lately,” she admitted.
“That bothers you?”
“Yeah, I enjoy my mother and sister’s company and my friends but…”
“The combination of Ellie and Desiree was too much? I’m aware that neither of them treated you very well this past weekend.”
“I suppose so,” she sighed. “I try really hard to act like things don’t bother me but…”
“That stubborn tilt to your chin is hiding how you really feel and a sensitive heart,” he asked her and watched her frown at him.
“It really isn’t fair that you can do that,” she told him and gave his foot a gentle shove with hers.
“Sorry,” he smiled.
“Am I really that transparent?”
“Not transparent as much as I’ve learned to read your moods.”
“It scares me that you understand me so well,” she grumbled irritably.
“Understand you?” Jonathon smiled with a raised brow and shook his head. “I suppose that I understand you as much as any man ever understands a woman, but I hardly understand you. I’ve merely learned to read your moods.”
Alexandria smiled at his response and fell quiet for a moment before picking up her earlier train of thought.
“The truth is, I have female friends but I’ve never really felt that I fit in with other women. I’m not at all like a proper woman should be. Oh, I learned all the appropriate things but I… well, it’s not that I didn’t dream of falling in love and marrying and having kids. It’s just that, I’m not content with just that. I don’t guess I’m making any sense, huh?” she laughed.