A Headstrong Woman(44)
Jonathon decided to start with the barn, though he wasn’t certain how she would have gotten inside. He opened the smaller door and stepped inside and stopped to let his eyes adjust to the dim interior. After reaching for a lantern he began searching.
“Lilly,” he peered into each stall. He was about to give up when the sound of movement overhead pulled him to the loft ladder. Relief flooded him as he topped the ladder. His relief was quickly replaced by concern. Lilly sat cross legged in the hay, a kitten snuggled to her. Evidence of recent tears stained her face.
“Hey sweetheart, your mama is scared silly. What are you doing out here?” Jonathon moved to squat in front of the child.
“I dreamed Papa was in here,” her blue eyes filled with tears again.
“Oh, sweetie, I’m sorry. Did you know my wife died? I dream of her sometimes too,” Jonathon shared. “Can I take you back in now? Your mama is scared something happened to you.”
Lilly nodded and reached to be lifted with one arm. Jonathon lifted her into his arms and carefully descended the ladder to make his way to the house. Lilly, sobs still occasionally racking her small body, snuggled against him. They entered the house just as Alexandria was descending the stairs.
“Lilly!” Alexandria rushed forward to take the child; her own tears spilled over again. “I was so worried something had happened to you!”
“She had a dream that her daddy was in the barn,” Jonathon shared and watched fresh pain fill Alexandria’s face as she cuddled her daughter close and rubbed her small back.
“If Lilly is okay, why is Alexandria hysterical?” Anna joined them.
“I think everything has finally caught up with your sister, would you take Lilly and dress her please?” Jonathon requested.
“Of course,” Anna took the child from Alexandria. “Oh! You have a kitty!”
“She’s okay, Alexandria,” Jonathon assured her.
“I am a horrible mother! I lost my child!” Alexandria couldn’t seem to get her tears under control.
“Come here,” Jonathon pulled Alexandria close and stroked her back much as she had been doing Lilly moments earlier. “You are an excellent mother. Lilly is not the first, nor will she be the last, I’m sure, to slip out unnoticed. I’m sure you need only ask your own mother, and I know mine for a fact, to have that confirmed,” Jonathon assured her.
“I feel like I’m failing her, Jonathon. I don’t know how to help her.”
“You’re doing fine with her, Alexandria. If you weren’t the child would not be as confident and well balanced as she is. She would still be clinging as she did at her father’s funeral, but she isn’t; she’s secure with you.”
“You think so?” Alexandria leaned back and stared up at him hopefully.
“I do,” he nodded.
“I’m sorry, Jonathon; I didn’t mean to go to pieces,” she was regaining control of herself now. She stepped out of his arms and claimed her bandana from her pocket to wipe her tears away.
“You have been through a lot lately, Alexandria. I’m surprised you haven’t gone to pieces a lot sooner.”
“Still,” Alexandria offered him a self-derisive smile and a shrug. She immediately winced and watched Jonathon’s gaze narrow.
“You’re sore aren’t you?” he accused.
“A little,” she admitted.
“Stay in today, Alexandria; rest, spend time with your daughter, and take a day for yourself.”
“I really shouldn’t…”
“You really should; I insist,” Jonathon countered.
Alexandria bit her lower lip and debated it. “Okay,” she finally nodded. She was exhausted, sore, and she missed her daughter.
“Good, you’ll feel better tomorrow; I promise,” he offered her a smile.
“Thanks, Jonathon.”
“Welcome.”
After helping clean up from breakfast, Alexandria sat down to read to Lilly and to enjoy her daughter’s company. She had forgotten how nice it was to play with the child and enjoy her company; there had been little time for it lately. Even now she had to force herself not to close herself in the office with work that was piling up there.
“Come on, squirt; nap time,” Alexandria announced after lunch. Lilly put up a mild protest but was quickly tucked in and was asleep before Alexandria had even finished reading her a story.