A Family of Their Own(76)

Feeling the knob turn, she pulled open the door, but when she tried to speak, her throat constricted. She motioned him inside, and though he faltered, he charged in, then turned to face her. “What’s happened?” His hand dragged across his jaw, his eyes fraught with concern. “Please, tell me it’s not Lucy.”

The lump in her throat swelled as she shook her head. Finally, she grasped her wits. “Have a seat, Ross. This isn’t about Lucy. It’s about…us.”

“Us?” He jerked backward, bewilderment drenching his face. “What do you mean?”

“Please sit. I need to explain.” She wanted to clutch him to her to ease his pain. Her own anguish rattled her bones as she sank into the nearest chair.

Ross stood over her, his fists clenched. “Kelsey, have I done something? I thought we—”

“So did I. I wanted everything to be fine, but deep inside, I—I—”

“You have no feelings for me? Or is it Peyton?” His shoulders slumped.

Her heart ached seeing the expression on his face. “No, that’s not it. I care. I care about you both.” She cared too much. But… “Please sit, and I’ll try to make sense out of this.”

He crumpled onto the sofa, elbows on his thighs and his head hanging. “Please, make sense.” He lifted his gaze to hers. “Since you called, I’ve been in a daze. I knew something was wrong. Terribly wrong, but I didn’t expect this.”

She gnawed the edge of her lip, searching for words, thoughts that made sense not long ago, but they’d fluttered away like frightened birds. “Do you remember a while back when you talked about taking Peyton on a Dreams Come True trip and—”

“Yes. I’d love to do that, but I wanted to wait until—”

“Until Lucy was out of danger. I know.”

His brows drew together, his eyes narrowing. “I thought that would please you.”

“But it didn’t. It reminded me of how I made Lucy slow down and play less strenuous games for Peyton’s sake. Lucy was unhappy, and it caused us stress.” She shifted to the edge of the chair, her courage rising. “And do you remember how upset you were when I told Peyton about her body and what was about to happen?”

“But I apologized for that, Kelsey. I was being stupid.”

“I know you said you were sorry, but that’s the problem. We get along great. We have a wonderful relationship, but I don’t think it will work, Ross. We’ll spend our lives resenting our motivation and behavior, trying to please each other and both girls. It’s an impossible situation.”

“Impossible? We’ve been doing it for months.” He pushed himself up from the sofa and crossed to her side. “Kelsey, it works. We don’t have to cater to the girls. They’re doing well now. Peyton’s out of my bedroom and in her own—”

“It has nothing to do with the bedroom.” Her stomach churned and nausea caught in her throat.

“Yes, it does. I coddled Peyton. Remember? But I’ve changed, and I’m happy I did. Peyton’s happier. She feels more normal, and she’s doing well. Lucy is, too. The girls are friends now. They’re like sisters, and Peyton told me you’re like a mother to her.” He knelt at her feet. “Do you hear what I’m saying?”

Tears churned in her eyes and clung to her lashes. “Yes, but—”

He grasped her hands. “I haven’t complained, have I?” He searched her face.

“No.”

“We’ve talked about this before. Two are better than one. If one falls, the friend can help the other one up.” He lifted her hand and kissed her fingers. “Kelsey, we are a three-strand cord as the Bible says. It’s you, me and God. We’re not alone with our struggles, and look how blessed we are.”

His voice quaked, and Kelsey couldn’t hold back the tears. All the thoughts, the fears she’d had for the past weeks seemed so empty and weak when she viewed Ross’s strength. He understood God’s ways so much better than she did.

He touched her cheek. “Yes, we may have to deal with more illness—I pray we don’t—but we have the Lord and each other. We’re not easily broken.”

She felt broken. Every ounce of strength she’d garnered failed her. Her decisiveness failed as she looked in Ross’s eyes. “But I’m broken, Ross. I can’t let go of that fear. Doug walked out on me, and I thought we had a solid marriage. He abandoned us.” She searched his eyes. “I trust you, Ross, but I…”