A Dishonorable Knight(128)
A thousand candles lit the great hall of Nottingham castle as servants stumbled over each other in their haste to bring heavy trays of food to the thick wood tables. The wine flowed ceaselessly and the rich aroma of fresh-baked bread and thick stews competed with the smoke from the great fireplace and the sweat of men who had ridden hard hours to break bread with their sovereign. As Gareth surveyed the bustling scene, he felt a strange sense of déjà vu. This could have easily been the last great feast at Middleham castle. The night he had first laid eyes on Elena. The rowdy men around him laughed as they recalled the foibles of the squires they were training. A comely serving girl leaned over his shoulder, setting a platter of roasted venison in the middle of the table. She pressed her breasts against his shoulder and lifted her eyebrows in invitation at him when he looked up. He smiled politely and turned back to his mug of ale, hoping the girl would not be flirting with him all night. Two of the king's dogs broke into a fight over a bone tossed on the ground and a page ran forward to separate them. At the head table, the king was in conversation with the Earl of Salisbury and several other nobles.
It is as if nothing has changed, he thought. Nothing except that I am in love with a woman who will no doubt be wed to another before the leaves fall from the trees. I am in love with her, he thought, and I will have to watch her pledge her life to another, will have to watch her exit the hall on his arm for her wedding night, knowing her more intimately than her husband ever could. Gareth set his mug on the table and rested his head in his hands. Somehow that was a worse feeling than any of the guilt he had felt over his appointed mission.
"Be you ill Gareth?" asked Henry, the taller man he had bested on the practice field earlier. Placid of countenance and disposition, his broad face was full of concern as Gareth lifted his head from his hands.
"No," Gareth said, forcing a smile, "too much ale, that's all."
Henry's face cleared and he grinned broadly. "Aye, that's an illness I'm well familiar with!" The man returned his attention to the wealth of food in front of him and Gareth relapsed into his thoughts of Elena. Instead of the brutal torture of thinking of her upcoming wedding night, he recalled every detail of her face when he had seen her on horseback earlier today. She had been wearing the dress he had purchased for her, though the accessories she had added had changed it into the gown of a lady of rank. A jeweled belt worked in gold adorned the high waist and the collar had been closed with an intricately wrought gold brooch. Her hair had been encased in gold wire baskets on either side of her head and a fine veil had covered the glory of its chestnut color. As he had watched her, he was sure he could have never touched that satiny skin. This was not the woman who had lain so passionately in his arms. She was an aloof stranger, she must be. But the look in her eyes and the way she had watched him had reassured him. Reassured him that he was an ass for having kept silent so long about his feelings for her.
He raked his fingers through his tangled hair. It could not now be undone. They must each answer their own destinies. Looking up for something to distract him, his eyes locked onto the sight of Elena entering the hall. As on that night when he had first seen her, she was alone, standing at the top of the three steps which led into the main hall. She was surveying the colorful scene before her and she was even wearing the same green velvet gown that she had that night. Gareth remembered thinking that night that any lady wealthy enough to wear such a gown would never see anything in a man such as himself. She made her way slowly to the ladies’ table and sat at the end farthest from the head table. As he watched, she smiled at the lady sitting next to her and did not look up again as she ate. Gareth frowned, worried. This was so unlike her, he thought. She should be sitting at the head of that table as Richard's favorite.
Scarcely touching the food on his own plate, Gareth watched as she picked at her food and then stood to leave. He rose also and moved to intercept her behind the huge central fireplace. There they would be out of sight of Richard and the other important guests. Gareth waited close to the fire, which was necessary even in the heat of summer to warm the cold stone of the castle. As Elena walked past him, he said as casually as possible, "Good evening, Lady Elena."
Startled, she turned towards him and when she saw who had spoken to her, her eyes widened. "Gareth!" she whispered. Glancing furtively around, she quickly joined him behind the fireplace. She extended her hands to him and he took them in his own, rubbing them briskly to bring warmth to them. For moments they stood, staring at each other, unable to speak.