A Deal with the Elf King (Married to Magic, #1)(69)

“Right. Well…I don’t know how it happened. It wasn’t supposed to.”

“What happened?”

“A few weeks ago, I think I took glimmer for the first time. You have to believe me, it was completely by accident. I would’ve never sought out the stuff,” he says defensively.

“I don’t know what glimmer is.”

“Oh, right, human.” He rolls his eyes and I roll mine right back. “Glimmer is a…substance made by the fae. It heightens the connection with the Veil and, because of that, can improve elf magic. The sensation of power flowing through you is like none other. As if you’re halfway into the Beyond—halfway to the immortality we once had. Some people take it to perform incredible acts. Others…for pleasure.”

“Like you?”

“I told you, I didn’t intend to. Not originally…”

I frown. At the academy there were students who experimented with various substances, natural and created. Some I even heard of selling such things on the streets of Lanton. But I never gave the matter much attention, choosing instead to distance myself from the shadier acts as much as possible. My studies kept me from everything I couldn’t grow in dirt.

“We were at a party. People were having a good time. I think something was slipped into my drink. That must’ve been it. But after…I…I craved it. Just a little at a time. But the allure of the Veil is overwhelming.”

I resist frowning. I don’t want him to interpret my worry as judgment. Instead, I keep my face passive and listen.

“Plus, when I take it, I don’t think about anything. The world slips away into that hazy blue void.” Suddenly, anger flashes in his eyes. “Do you know what it’s like to hunt for your whole life for a place you can just exist?”

“Yes,” I answer honestly. He’s startled. “It’s something I’ve always pursued—a place of my own, built by my own hands—a corner of the world I can make my duty to look after. Not for the same reasons as you, Harrow…but I know that feeling.”

“Look at me, relating to a human. They’d never believe it in the salons and lounges if they heard,” Harrow muttered.

“These are strange times indeed.” I grin slightly. But my expression quickly becomes serious. “Harrow, you can’t—”

“Before you say it, I know. I know I can’t keep doing this. And I don’t want to. But that siren call…” He stares off at nothing, as though he can hear it even now—the pull of this substance known as glimmer. “They call it glimmer because elves get a ‘glimmer’ of their immortality back. Now that I’ve tasted it, I want more. I don’t know how to stop the cravings.”

“I’ll help you,” I declare. I don’t like the way he’s talking about being closer to the Veil. Then, I add, “That is, if you want me to.”

“What can you do?”

I wish I had access to the library at the academy and its wealth of knowledge on all topics. Or that I could write to one of my past teachers who dealt with students who became trapped by the substances they created. But I may have something just as good here.

“Plants are magnificent things. They can create something as powerful as glimmer and they can also create ways to stave off such cravings.” I look him in the eyes. “Would you like me to try and make something like that for you?”

Harrow finishes his mug and passes it to me. He looks away like an obstinate child. Yet, despite all his body language to the contrary, he says, “Fine, I suppose. It’s not like I can stop you. I’m drinking whatever you put in front of me, anyway.”

“All right.” I take the mug and set it down. “I’ll see what I can do. In the meantime, don’t leave the castle.”

“But—”

“No, Harrow. If you must, bring Jalic, Sirro, and Aria here.” I cringe inwardly at the suggestion. They’re the last people I want here, but if it helps Harrow then it’s what must be done. The wellbeing of my patients comes first, always.

I remember Aria in the alleyway and something passing between the fae and her. I bite my lip. Even if she wasn’t involved with the horned fae who tried to kidnap me, she still might be up to something. But if I bring up any suspicions now, Harrow will likely become defensive. I can’t risk him shutting off to me. Instead, I simply say, “Make sure they bring nothing harder than alcohol.”

“I’ll try.”

“Good.” I know that’s all he can do. Hopefully, he’s still toward the top of the slippery slope he’s sliding on. But the sooner I act, the better. “I should be going.”

“Yes, get out of my room, human.” Even the word “human” lacks all bite.

“Gladly, prince.” I say the word with offense, but Harrow grins at me. An expression I mirror—like we now share a secret.

I suppose we do.

The door to his room closes behind me and I’m flipping through my mental catalog of herbs as I start down the hall. I’m so focused on finding a good starting point for Harrow that I don’t notice someone in my way and I nearly walk face-first into Eldas. He stops me with a strong hand on my shoulder, which jerks me out of my trance.

“Oh! I-I’m sorry.”

“It’s all right.” He smiles—smiles! It’s like the sun rose on his face. But the clouds quickly roll back in and the expression vanishes as he releases me, as if catching himself. “I was actually coming to look for you.”