A Deal with the Elf King (Married to Magic, #1)(59)

I reach up and he flinches away. I hold out my hands and wait. Eldas settles and allows my fingers to curl around his crown. It’s heavier than I expected, so heavy I wonder how he holds his head up at all.

“—meet with Eldas, and not the Elf King.” I set the crown down on the mantle, grateful I didn’t drop it.

“The Elf King is who and what I am. There is nothing else.”

Those words mirror things I’ve said many times before. He didn’t intend for them to wound, and yet they do. Internal tremors try to knock my bones together. Nerves are attempting to get the better of me because I have never felt more vulnerable.

For the first time, I realize the clothes, the crown, that horrible, echoing throne room…they’re all different forms of armor for him. They shield him from anyone seeing whoever the man is without them. And, now, I’m all the more curious about who that man actually is.

“I understand,” I whisper.

“You don’t.” He looks back to the fire as if he can’t handle my scrutiny. As if he knows the realization I’ve made.

“I do,” I insist. “Because I had my own armor. I had my shop, my job, my duty. I had it keep me from everything because if I put myself out there for a moment then maybe I could be hurt—maybe I could lose control.”

His eyes flicker back to me. The fire cracks and a log falls.

“Little good that did me,” I murmur. Even trying to protect myself, Luke dealt a near mortal blow to my heart. His gaze softens further. “So I’m not going to retreat. Well, I’m trying not to. I want to get to know you, Eldas.”

“Why?” He seems shocked someone would.

“What kind of a question is that?” I laugh breezily. Yet his tense shoulders indicate it was genuine. “I’m technically your wife.”

“Only a formality… And I forced you to take those oaths.” He brings a crystal cut glass to his lips. It barely hides a grimace. “I am sorry for my actions in the temple at Capton. I should have apologized earlier.”

A sincere and unprompted apology? I barely refrain from letting out a shocked gasp. Progress, this is real progress.

“Thank you for your apology.” I purse my lips. Part of me doesn’t want to forgive him. Yet… “Honestly, without your help, I probably would have puked on your shoes.”

Now he doesn’t hide the grimace. “Maybe I am less sorry.”

I laugh lightly. It’s a fragile sound to pair with our delicate explorations. “What’re you having?”

“This?” He swirls the glass. Ice clanks. “It’s faerie mead. It was sent with their king’s apologies for the incident in Quinnar.”

“May I try some?” There’s a narrow bar with an additional glass set out and a bottle of liquid the same color as what’s in Eldas’s glass.

“I didn’t think you would want to since it’s of fae make. I only opened it because it’s strong and because tonight…I needed some strength.”

“You needed strength around me?” I lift my eyebrows.

“You are perhaps the one thing in Midscape I find terrifying.”

I chuckle as I help myself to some liquor. As I pour, Hook takes my spot at the fireside. Wolf and man regard each other warily as I return and hold my glass out to Eldas, distracting him from Hook.

“To strength, tonight.”

He stares at my gesture long enough that I’m uncomfortable.

“Do you toast here?”

“We do.” For the first time, his chilly gaze seems inviting. His eyes are cool, but like a brisk winter morning that you’re ready to greet. Eldas lifts his glass. “To this world. To the next. To the people we meet between and the bonds we share.” He lightly clanks his glass against mine and drinks. I do the same.

“Is that an elvish toast?” I ask.

“It is.”

“It’s lovely.”

He doesn’t seem to know how to respond to the compliment so he deflects instead. “I see the beast is still insistent on roaming my castle.”

“Hook,” I correct gently. “Yes, he still stays with me.”

“You must return to the Fade eventually,” Eldas scolds lightly. Yet, despite his tone, he leans forward and reaches for Hook. The wolf tenses but permits Eldas to gently scratch him between the ears.

“He goes back and forth as he needs. Sometimes he runs off of his own accord, but he always comes back. And he’s a good companion whenever he’s here.” I don’t want to think about Hook leaving me for good, as Eldas’s tone implies.

“Good. This castle can be lonely.” Eldas purses his lips slightly, as if that were something he hadn’t intended to say.

“You would know, wouldn’t you?”

“As much as you would.” Eldas turns the sentiment back on me and I’m silenced. We take long sips of mead.

“Did you really stay locked away here while you were waiting for me?” The question comes out weakly. I’m afraid of the answer.

“Rinni told you, didn’t she?” He doesn’t look at me when he says it. I doubt he likes feeling vulnerable. But I’m not going to apologize for taking an interest in his wellbeing.

“She did. Don’t be cross with her.”