A Cold Dark Promise (Cold Justice #8.5)(9)

“Ms. Sanders,” he warned again.

“Jane.” She curled her fingers around his impressive length and an ache began to throb between her thighs. The spark of desire took her by surprise. Over the years, she’d often used sex as a distraction from the ugly emptiness of her life, but she hadn’t expected to feel pleasure from this.

Reilly gently tossed the empty glass onto the nearby couch, then caught her other wrist and pulled her hand away from him.

She pouted appropriately.

“Ms. Sanders.” His blue eyes were dark now, heated, and she thought for one wild crazy moment he might kiss her. “You’re a client.” He let go of her wrists and took a step back. “I don’t have relations with clients.” He snatched up the glass and started to walk away, but not before she noticed the tented front of his pants.

“I don’t want relations, Mr. Reilly.” Her voice cracked. Embarrassed by the hint of vulnerability she’d revealed, she added, “I was just offering to let you fuck me hard against a wall.”

He stopped and looked at her over his shoulder. His eyes ran down her body with appreciation. They weren’t cold, and they weren’t full of loathing the way she’d expected them to be.

“I don’t fuck clients against the wall. I don’t fuck clients anywhere.” His voice softened. “I know you’re hurting.” Suddenly the pain in her heart caught fire. “I know you’re worried about your daughter. There are other ways to deal with those emotions.”

“I don’t want to deal with my emotions any other way,” she snarled.

He blew out a quiet breath, and his eyes crinkled. “Yeah, I got the self-destruct message loud and clear.”

She flinched and looked away as shame washed over her. It was easy to get people to hate you. Getting someone to like you was so much harder, as she knew from far too much personal experience.

“You aren’t in a good place to be making important decisions like who to have sex with, Ms. Sanders, and I cannot afford to be distracted by a beautiful woman.”

Beautiful? Her eyes shot to his, and her mouth fell open in surprise. She hadn’t thought of herself as beautiful in years. She felt ugly, scarred, and twisted. Look at how she’d handled a man kind enough to bring her a glass of water on a hot day? All because inside she was being shredded slowly through a meat grinder. He hadn’t deserved that. Jack Reilly had been nothing except professional and courteous.

God, she was pathetic.

She hadn’t always been such a bitch. There had been a time when she’d been kind, too. She’d been kind even after she’d had the crap beaten out of her on a regular basis by a man she thought had loved her. It was only after he’d stolen her child that the black rot of bitterness had seeped in. Seeped in and drowned every good thing about her.

She held Reilly’s blue gaze as she drew in a long, deep breath. “I’m sorry. I was offensive and rude, Mr. Reilly. That’s not really who I am.” She swallowed. At least it wasn’t who she wanted to be. “It won’t happen again.”

The understanding in his gaze made her want to weep. “I’m a big boy, Jane. I can deal.” He grinned, and his face transformed.

She laughed because he referred to both his maturity and the size of his erection without any other comment being necessary. A man comfortable and confident in his own skin.

“You didn’t offend me. Just gave hope to an underutilized piece of my anatomy,” he said.

She seriously doubted that. She cleared her throat. “Thank you, Mr. Reilly. I promise I won’t touch you inappropriately again.” Thank you for not taking advantage of what I so clearly offered. Thank you for distracting me. Thank you for not hating me even though I wanted you to.

“Call me Reilly, or Jack. Mr. Reilly is my father.”

“Isn’t that a little familiar between bodyguard and client?” she teased softly.

He carefully adjusted the front of his pants. “It’s about as familiar as I get on the job,” he admitted. “The exception being a few minutes ago.” He glanced up at the hot sun. “Don’t be outside too long. You’re beginning to burn.”

She lifted her chin as he gave her another long look before heading inside.

It had been years since anyone had given a damn about something as simple as whether or not she burnt in the sun. She looked up at the cloudless, blue sky. She’d gotten rid of him like she’d planned, but it didn’t feel as good as she’d expected.

She didn’t deserve his kindness, but he provided it anyway. She swallowed the uncomfortable knot that formed in her throat. Even if she never saw her child again, she was going to start being the parent her daughter deserved, the sort of person a child might be proud of. Kind. Brave. Compassionate.

Her ex would not destroy her. No matter what happened he would not destroy her.





Chapter Five





When Alex got back to the chateau it was dark outside, and Jane was waiting for him in the lounge.

She stood as he came in the door. “What happened? Did you see her?”

He kept walking toward her, and she started backing up until she hit the wall. She closed her eyes, clearly bracing for a blow.

Alex stilled as he realized the truth behind Jane’s coldness.

“Jane,” he said softly, gently.